Monday, December 29, 2008

She just keeps piling sticks in a circle

Oh hello there, I must have forgotten to write. The mountains were fun, but cold. The boy has declared himself a skiing maniac. I went shopping. The eating of food was wonderful. Baby girl got to sled and tried on some practice skis. The Manny slept. The husband walked the snow dog for me. All was right in the world. We came home and had a blissful Christmas. Santa dropped off too many toys, yet again. So did the grandparents, and the Manny, and everyone else who knows our spoiled children so we were left with a huge mound of toys and no place to put them.

Plus I am pretty sure the baby dropped. This has never happened to me before. Third pregnancy will do it I guess. Anyway round ligament pain and peeing 95 times a day is not fun. Either is a fussy husband. So to handle his freaking out that THE BABY WILL BE HERE SOON HOLY CRAP attitude I made him nest. And boy did he ever. The entire family room/ gigantic FAO Schwartz store that is our family room is organized! It is wonderful. All the toys have a special place, there are cubbies, and shelves and buckets. There are centers. It is wonderful. While he was at it he organized the office "area" too. Once again everything has its place. And! to top it off Christmas has left the building. (I can't stand the tree up past Christmas day.) Oh I am a happy girl.

I still have not nested as far as the baby is concerned. Oops. With the first the nursery was put together four months in advance. Washed clothes and everything. The second go round it was put together about a month in advance, I didn't know baby girl was indeed a girl so the yellow items were washed. I have got about two weeks left and at least the stuff is in the house now. Until yesterday it was in the garage. The crib is up. I bought some diapers. But that is about all. I have no special baby detergent so NOTHING is washed. No overnight bag is packed. The bassinet is still not put together. They are just in a big heap in the baby's room with the door shut. And the crazy thing is this pregnancy is acting different. There are sensations going on in there that I weren't there with the last two. I need to get my shit together. People tell me oh you will KNOW when you are in labor (I have never *really* been in labor before) but I beg to differ. Not that I am in labor right now, just that it may begin sooner rather than later. The first delivery went something like this:

Three weeks to go my old OB decided I needed another ultrasound because the first one showed that I had placenta previa and they wanted to make sure good old placenta had moved out of the way. Then the tech told me I was looking at a ten pound kid. Because someone's mother just happens to be an OB and while I was visiting a few months before and had gotten a freebie ultrasound she had told me all this already so I was not too surprised. The old OB in Vegas declared that kid isn't going to fit in your pelvis. You are small. You are having a c-section. Now because I was already at the point of "someone has got to get this kid out of here and I don't care how" mood I said sure. Mr. Fussy likes everything scheduled doesn't not handle the unexpected well husband was thrilled. The c-section was scheduled. Everything was already done at home. He just had to wait. No freaking out for him. So on the blessed day in December there were no blizzards to contend with it was Vegas, just the flu. I woke up are realized I was sick. And not just cold sick, but sick. So I snuck a Tylenol and went to hospital. Because I was pretty sure they wouldn't have done the c-section that day had they known what my real temperature was and I was at the point of craziness with getting him out of me. While I was waiting for my surgery they hooked me up to monitors and declared I was having contractions. Regular ones too. Now I am not sure if Tylenol is strong enough to dull the pain or what but I was quite surprised since I couldn't feel them at all. Not a thing. So this is my dilemma now. I think the kid has dropped. Crazy things are occasionally happing in there (like someone every so often stabs my cervix with a knife among crampy feelings.) But since I have no idea what labor feels like because when I was in labor for that brief two hours before my surgery I couldn't feel it, I really have no idea what is going on in there. My cervix has never dilated before. I have never dropped. I expressed all this to the husband who freaked out a bit more and turned his attention back to his nesting.

So any of you out there who have had babies and been in labor to remove them from you...please give me some advice on this.

Friday, December 19, 2008

I must've drank me about 15 Dr. Peppers

John Muir said, "The mountains are calling and I must go." A few weeks ago my phone rang and it was the touristy town of Breckenridge saying, "hey Jennie the economy is in the pooper and have I got some deals for you. Why don't you home hang out in one of my condos for as cheap as you will ever see in your lifetime, we are talking May rates here lady. Your family can all go skiing while you and baby girl watch too much t.v. and wander around in shops that are filled with useless crap. But we've got hot chocolate and muffins so you should be OK." I looked over at the husband who was wagging his tail and panting, giving me the puppy dog look...please can we go? can we? can we?

I pouted for a while about the fact that I can't ski this season so why should I have to subject myself to hanging out in some non-kid friendly place with baby girl while EVERYONE (parental figures, husbands, the boy, friends of husbands, kids of friends of husbands, girlfriends, DOGS, hell even the Manny) can ski and then enjoy apres ski. (note: happy hour is called snooty apres ski in ski towns.) I am taking one for the Gipper. I am roughly three and a half weeks from giving birth and my bitch level is at an all time high. So, dear reader, I am picking the restaurants for this adventure. Why? Because it is the only thing that I have on this earth that I enjoy right now. Food. Since we are staying in a condo, I will be torturing the family with "we are not eating out for breakfast and lunch for four days. You'll eat your oatmeal and you'll like it!" (Food prices apparently don't go on sale in a down turned economy.) But for dinner I am choosing. Does anyone know this yet? Nope. OK I fore warned them that we will be eating in a certain restaurant based on a movie one night because that place just amuses me so. The food is not so hot, but I DON"T CARE! I have eaten at some places in Frisco that were mighty tasty but are not kid friendly in anyway and since I am not shelling out cash for babysitting on the, ahem "family vacation" we won't be dining there this trip. So while everyone else is out skiing and my mom and the husband are bossing the Manny around, because I will not be there to boss around, baby girl and I will be scouring Breckenridge and Frisco for perfect dinner spots.

For those of you familiar with Breck or Frisco...any suggestions? Now back to packing...

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Laissez Les Bon Temps Roulez

A long long time ago some Frenchies got kicked out of Nova Scotia and wandered on down to Louisiana. They started eating things that required a LOT of cayenne pepper to choke down. Eventually enough breeding happened that my husband was produced. Now my family is all descended from Northern Europe and somehow on our boats over the ocean we lost the Scandinavian recipes, the German recipes, and I can't say much for British cooking anyway. I have NO family recipes. (And Dad Pennsylvania Dutch potato soup does not count because we are neither Dutch nor from Pennsylvania!) So unless you count roast beef I have no food connection to the previous generation. No sauces. No special holiday treat. OK I take that back my Grandma makes pffernusse cookies, I tried, it didn't work out so well. And on my mom's can hear crickets chirping it is so quiet in the kitchen. 

So when I went to meet the husband's family almost a decade ago they do what they always do in the spring...had a crawfish boil. Now living in St. Louis I was aware of people eating these things around Mardi Gras. I had gone to a Fat Tuesday parade once. Except the little crustaceans are called crayfish in Missouri. I even held one once. But never had I been to a crawfish boil, eaten jambalaya, etouffee, boudain, beignets, or had my nose run from eating corn and potatoes.  

In the spring of 2000, pounds of crawfish were ordered, boiled, seasoned, and had their little tails pulled off of their bodies and mutilated in order to obtain a itty bit of meat. There may have been some head sucking. This meat tastes very similar to shrimp but not as oceany if you've never had one. Eating them takes time and is an all afternoon or evening affair. It is not fancy, pretentious, or clean. (DO NOT touch your eyes for the love of Pete!) It is relaxing. It is surrounded by family and friends. (And most likely beer and if enough beer is around then there is a washboard involved too.) When my husband's family has people over they cook two things: brisket and crawfish.  And then they relax. This just doesn't happen in my family. Oh sure we bar b que but it simply another way to cook dinner. It is not an affair. It is not a day long event. We have one day long event pertaining to food in my family...Thanksgiving. 

Since being married to the husband we have boiled crawfish more than once. We tried to order them in Las Vegas, but had to settle for a shrimp boil. I have tried other Cajun food as well, including jambalaya, gumbo, etouffee, and let's not forget boudain.  I love beignets (especially at Cafe du Monde). I keep an eye out for King Cake in February (only found one here once.)  And last spring when Mardi Gras rolled around the husband and I surprised the boy with crawfish. He IS Cajun. In Texas at the Grandparents house he requests crawfish. He is spoiled so he gets crawfish.  Baby girl is a totally different story. She cries when faced with the idea of eating fish of any sort. She just will not do it. But the boy?  He knows what a fais do do is.  So while I may not have recipes or ethnic traditions to hang my hat on it no longer matters...I co-opted my husband's.  

and while I could link you to some zydeco music, I am going for a more southern flair...

or perhaps the creme de la creme...

Friday, December 12, 2008

Happy Birthday

Today you turned five. It seems like only yesterday I was seeing you for the first time. You were HUGE, we were so excited to meet you. I watched you grow and change from a helpless newborn to a happy easy going baby. You crawled happily on the floor, played with your toys, never fussed in the car. You were in my eyes the perfect baby. (Just don't tell your sister.) You learned to walk at nine months and instantly became a dare devil. At one time you were the silent type. Now you pepper me with questions from the moment you wake up at 6 am to the time you go to bed at 8:30. Despite my honest efforts to change you, you are a morning person. You are all boy, nothing terrifies you, except for maybe the thought of having to put lotion on. You are funny, smart and as your teacher put it this year "a gentle giant."  You are my first. You will always have that special place in my heart. Mommy doesn't always knows how to be a Mommy, but you show me everyday what love is. Your spirit is so kind and forgiving it amazes me. I love you more than these words here could ever express. 

Happy Birthday!



Thursday, December 11, 2008

oy, my aching back...

I have entered the final stage of the pregnancy...the one in which basic movements have become extremely difficult. It began Tuesday evening while dining with the husband at the Cheesecake Factory (shrimp and bacon club...what is not to love about shrimp AND bacon?). I ate entirely too much food and then was unable to sleep. Yesterday I had an extremely long day on my feet, volunteered to make fondue with a bunch of preschoolers, cooked lasagna for 60, marched the herd all over 8:30 I was in bed, yelping in pain. Of course being this large and now full of lasagna I could not sleep. Just whimper. So this morning, needless to say, I moved at a snail's pace. This is just not the time of year to be pregnant. With the boy I was almost done at this point but had the flu. With baby girl I was in throws of morning sickness. While I don't have the flu (knock on wood) and am way past morning sickness, I would like to know who decided that the holiday's have to be so busy? There's the shopping, the cooking, the gifting, the birthday parties, the eating out constantly, the messy house, the husband's antics with the new job (more on that later this month), the decorating, the cookie baking, the cookie just goes on and on. Now I must say that if these are my biggest concerns in life than I have a pretty damn good life and should just quit my bitching. But I honest to God feel like I was assaulted and am all bruised. Never mind the tantrum throwing over stimulated children I am desperately trying ignore because you can only use the "I am going to call Santa RIGHT NOW! so many times before it wears off." I need a pregnancy safe Valium that I can just take until January and then the real fun begins.

Monday, December 8, 2008

Dear Santa

Dear Santa,
I want an SR-71 Blackbird fastest plane in the world for Christmas and I want it to land on our roof! 
~the boy

To which Santa replied: Yeah, that is a sweet plane.  

(So, DOD do you think you could recommission the stinkin' plane and have it land on our roof, although I am not sure the roof would hold it? Thanks, Jennie.)

Dear Santa,
I want a PINK! fastest plane in the world. That's all. 
~baby girl

(and while you're busy recommissioning a plane and landing it on our roof would please paint one pink and deliver that as well. XOXO, Jennie)

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Bratz dolls

"Just in time for the holidays, a federal judge has granted giant toymaker Mattel one of its big wishes. The judge ordered a rival company to stop selling Bratz dolls, which have undercut sales of Mattel's own Barbie. Wednesday's ruling follows a jury's finding that Bratz doll designer Carter Bryant came up with the pouty-lipped dolls while working for Mattel. The judge said the Bratz dolls may remain on store shelves until after the holidays." from NPR Morning Edition

Thankfully baby girl is still to young to be attracted to the little hoochies. Because these are the type of dolls I want my daughter to emulate, let me tell ya'. She's having her breasts "enhanced" at seven too....sheesh.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

while watching the news in southern colorado both jennie and the husband began crying upon hearing the news that croup is back in town...

Where did we leave off? Ah yes, Thanksgiving: It was good the husband was at home all week, we got the baby's room together, ate too much turkey, visited with family, got the tree up. The house is now a disaster, I can't imagine that eating turkey day leftovers is even safe anymore so I desperately need to get to the grocery store, five loads into the laundry and I have finally made a dent, Santa Claus is done shopping (all time record) need to finish other family members' gifts, husband is completely anxious and infecting me with his vibe over his super secret mission to DC that I am NOT supposed to be discussing here I am sure, but oh look I am. I am overwhelmed. I need a wife of my own to pick up this mess. But to top it off baby girl completely outdid herself this time. To the point that I am ready to light a cigarette and take a shot of tequila...that is a joke (sort of.)

Baby girl cut her hair. Oh and she was so proud of herself too.

Yesterday I took her to some fancy schmancy little girl salon for her first haircut to see if they could do anything about her do. There was not much that could be done. So I basically just shortened all of her hair a few inches and made it all one length (minus the fuzz at the top) so she doesn't look like a blond Joan Jett in a month.

But since she was getting all kinds of attention with this little shenanigan and was completely enjoying herself she decided to go for a twofer and began barking at 2 am last night. That's right folks effing croup for the fourth time in 10 months. This is becoming a chronic problem. Last night I actually got the steam/cold air trick to work. I was an hour into it and was halfway to the ER when she started clearing up. So we turned around went home and all slept together. This morning I took her to the doctor and finally I have my very own stash of steroids to give her when these little episodes begin. Two out of the four have resulted in ambulance rides and all kinds of oxygen and other medical devices. Two have not. So my next step, if this happens yet again, is to schedule an appointment with the boy's beloved ENT doc for further evaluation of her larynx and adenoids. I have read and been told that there is some link between reflux and chronic croup and also asthma and croup. I would be surprised if it was either of those, well I guess I could understand the reflux, but she doesn't ever seem asthmatic. Either way giving steroids to a two year old makes her VERY wide awake so that fact that we were up most of the night has no effect on her, but mommy needs an IV of caffeine inserted, but since I already guzzled my allotted 1/2 cup I suppose I will continue to ignore the state of my house and watch cartoons with the kids all afternoon.

Friday, November 21, 2008

He's no Michael Phelps.

The boy just finished his second session of swimming lessons. He didn't pass. He passed the first one, but I could tell right from the start that this one was not going to go the same way. This one required some actual swimming out of the kid. He listens really well and apparently can blow bubbles like none other, but swimming...not so much. He really hates going under water, putting his whole face in the water or laying on his back. He freezes up. The boy is not a scared type of kid. But for whatever reason being on his back in the water is horrible for him. Even with a life jacket on, he was so tense he could barely move. I am not sure if it is a sensory issue, because he has some serious issues with slimy things on him. Sticky fingers, lotion, finger painting that type of thing. So I am not sure if the water around his face just gives him the willies or if this is his one fear. He can climb up to the top of the climbing wall at our gym, while in no way coordinated in tee ball he never really fussed, he loved soccer and he doesn't ever complain in the water, he just can barely move. He says that he really likes swimming lessons and even jumped off the diving board with a life jacket on. I plan on continuing the lessons simply because it is a safety issue. At the grandma's house there are ponds which are really deep and unsettling for me and a jacuzzi that is always locked when we are there, but when the boy realized what it was he declared "that's a giant bathtub!" So neurotic me will keep him in swim lessons! But somehow I think my dream of him being an Olympic swimmer just went down the drain (it came about because the boy's body build is very similar to Mr. Phelps, just without the muscles). The husband has moved on and decided that hockey is the new sport of choice given the boy's penchant for "accidentally" knocking other kids down, not to mention his size. Now he just needs to learn how to skate...

Thursday, November 20, 2008

nothing really

Meet Cava. This is the pug we are watching off and on until February. She reminds me of the talking pug in the movie Men in Black. I am pretty sure she won't be here the week I give birth and I am not sure about after because while I am mostly mellow now, I am anything but mellow when I am post partum. I am neurotic and tired and extremely forgetful. Which results in comments like: when was the last time we fed the dog and cat, two days ago? Actually, has anyone seen them today? Poor pets. The husband is planning on taking some time off to help since I won't be able to drive for 10 days but the last thing I want to do is starve someone else's pet.

In other news, here are some much anticipated updates I am sure:

1. I found the big fat underwear. I went looking under the dresser to say hello to the dust bunnies and saw something poking out that was stuck in between the dresser and the wall. Low and behold it was the granny pants. The next day I went to put them on and saw how incredibly huge they were and stated "there is no way these will fit my nice firm buttocks...oh, look they do rather well actually." humbling.

2. I received a call from the nanny agency that the crazy babysitter who I found sleeping in my bed was fired. I kind of feel bad because now there is a person unemployed, but perhaps she was simply in the wrong line of work.

3. I am learning Chinese and boy oh boy is it interesting. They don't conjugate verbs, which is just awesome. But they use all these "classifier words" when speaking that make no sense to me and I am pretty sure they are there for the noise they make. And don't get me started on the characters. This is going to be a long process. Like most languages I can hear and understand way better than I speak.

4. The boy has moved on from race cars to airplanes. His favorite is the SR-71 Blackbird fastest plane in the world. Which is exactly how he says it over and over. He wants a SR-71 Blackbird fastest plane in the world birthday cake next month and a SR-71 Blackbird fastest plane in the world toy. I am not sure how easy the toy is going to be to find since the plane has been decommissioned since 1998. He did get to see one while at the Manny's basic training graduation so I planning on having a picture of him and the plane scanned onto the cake. I guess there is always e-bay for the toy.

5. We actually had a birthday party for the dog. I am not a fan of doggy birthday parties but she was turning 10 and the kids were so into it so we got her a toy and some dog cookies and cupcakes. I don't really dress up my pets either unless I am feeling diabolical and want to torture them or if I am making a Christmas card. So Maddy was allowed to sit at the table and eat a cup cake. The very idea that she was being allowed to sit at the table with the humans was just too much for her. Any other day she will climb up the table to look for food, but because she was allowed to sit there she acted like she was going to get in trouble. She couldn't even eat her cupcake. So after telling her it was ok and then laughing rudely at her we put the cupcake on the floor and she ate it in one bite. Dogs.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

about a beer and burger

After baby girl threw up unexpectedly at the precise moment we walked through the door of a restaurant it was decided that I would take the boy to see one very cool ski film. My justification was that I am missing an entire ski season so the least I could do was watch a movie. The husband thankfully agreed. Possibly not realizing that he was missing his chance at an alcoholic beverage with adults. I am pretty sure this thought came to rest in his brain the next day while entering Costco. As I have said the before the husband loves Costco, but it seems as though his tail has stopped wagging about shopping there with the family. It is possible he realized shopping with two kids is downright horrible at times. I am no help in the matter. The boy and I ran off to taste all the free samples while the very NOT sick 24 hours later baby girl and the husband picked out large boxed items. He became quite surly actually.

After returning home with said boxes the husband and the boy played tee ball in the backyard and then watched football while I simple cleaned the kitchen and then retreated to my bed to play solitaire on the iphone. (A horribly addictive little application that I should really just delete.) Because I needed to rest after all that food tasting and Costco wandering, you see. Baby girl napped. Over the past few weeks we have gotten into the routine in which the husband cooks the Sunday dinner. Usually large and very messy. But hey I will take all the help I can get. We were supposed to grill out steaks last Sunday but seeing as how he was surly from missing a ski movie and quite possibly an alcoholic beverage at some tasty restaurant he declared that we were to go to Red Robin (yum!) for dinner. Why? Because he had just seen a commercial for their new hamburger and he just had to try it.

Whatever. I'll go out to eat usually without a fuss. Once there I quickly realized that the gears in the husband's brain had been turning during the football watching. It may have gone something like this:

1. Football is good.
2. Beer is good.
3. Football and beer together are really good.
4. I don't want to drive to the liquor store.
5. Jennie will be annoyed if I get up to go buy beer.
6. How to buy beer and not annoy Jennie. Think. Think.
7. Ah ha! Restaurants have beer.
8. What restaurants have beer and football?
9. Sports bars. Can't take kids to sports bars that will annoy Jennie.
10. Hey look a new hamburger at Red Robin. It has fried jalapenos on it.
11. Fried jalapenos are bar food.
12. Red Robin has beer.
13. Red Robin has t.v.s
14. Red Robin will NOT annoy Jennie.
15. Problem solved! I will take the family to Red Robin, drink beer, eat a ridiculously spicy burger, and watch football on their t.v.s
16. Now I am happy.

So the once surly husband enjoyed his two beers, the Cowboys/Redskin game, and The New Burning Love Burger which has fried jalapenos on it, plus cayenne pepper and from the way he was acting a lot of other spicy stuff. Mr. Texas was all, "I can eat the whole thing it's not going to get the best of me." It did. He managed *maybe* half. But he was successful in his quest for beer and football, he got both and seeing as how I was stuffing my face full of fries and a salad, because I don't want to gain too much weight you know, I wasn't annoyed.

Monday, November 17, 2008

oh dear fetus of mine

While being pregnant with boy child a good five years ago I loved it when he moved. Loved it! He was huge and at the end it must have been pretty difficult for him to move because he hardly did at all. I was so good and did all of my "kick counts" just to make sure everything was alright in there. When he joined us in the outside world he was so mellow. As long as he was fed he was happy. He hardly ever cried. That has since changed, he fusses about things frequently now like having to go back to bed at 4 am. But despite his wiggling and occasional tantrum he is still a pretty mellow laid back kid for his age. He is a pleaser, I am trying to get him to stand up for himself. Just not when he is standing up to me.

Then came baby girl. While on the "inside" she parked herself right up by my ribs and kicked and kicked and kicked and then punched a little. I never felt like I could breathe. She too was on the large side but had a bit more space than the boy. I remember commenting to the husband that this is going to be one hyper active kid. She is. She is a sweetie and truly has gotten better with the hitting and sharing, but she is always on the move. Plus she is a bit of a drama queen. She was an awful baby who couldn't stand the car because she wasn't being held and moved around. Driving a mile was torture. She has never gone into a full on sprint to get away from me in the parking lot or at the mall like the other one has done, but she is an opinionated little thing who displays her drawings on the wall, just without paper.

If my theory hold any water and the fetal movement inside is a good prediction of baby behavior then the husband and I are in for a holy terror. This fetus is either small, which I seriously doubt given the ultrasound and my history of too large for my pelvis babies and has plenty of space to flip about, or he is going to need some Ritalin. He is always on the move. Thankfully not up in my ribs but my entire belly moves around when he squirms. Which is frequently. Oh sure he sleeps a little, but most of the time he is flipping from left to right, lays back to kick out his legs like he's on a recliner and then stretches his little arms out for good measure and wiggles fingers and toes. I am pretty sure he is sweating to oldies in there with Richard Simmons. Then come the hiccups. All of my kids got the hiccups frequently and as babies to, it always seemed to coincide with a growth spurt. This kid must be growing a lot. Unlike the boy's very predictable hiccup schedule, which was about 10 am every day, this kid's is about four times a day or naturally when I am relaxing. Like infants, fetuses totally understand the concept of "Mommy just sat it is time for some attention."

Friday, November 14, 2008

Picture of the week

Pregnant women waiting for birthing kits in Congo. If you would like to send a birth kit to a mom to be in Haiti, Rwanda, Malawai, or Lesotho click here for more information. $15 dollars provides three kits. I plan on purchasing some as my "push gift" or shall I say c-section gift. Because Lord knows I have been blessed. Thanks to for the photo. 

Thursday, November 13, 2008

I ain't saying she's a gold digger, but she likes marble when she works out.

While waddling on the treadmill at the brand spanking new gym today I saw something very scary. A New Kids on the Block Video on the great wall of televisions. So very strange. We joined this gym under the advice of the husband, apparently he likes to sweat in fancy places. This place is fancy. Only $20 more than what we were paying before so I'll take the fancy, plus we get child sitting for two kids instead of one for that price. There is even a salon in this place. Seems strange to me, but they looked pretty busy already so maybe its not so strange. The kid area is fantastic. Really big, climbing playground, mini sized basketball court, separate area for toddlers, another area for infants, plus a bunch of apple computers for the kids to play on. How well a place handles children is now my deciding factor on whether it is deemed Jennie-worthy or not. This place has passed the sniff test.

Yet, during my waddle session I was struck by how odd it is to see FM frequency labels underneath the pretty flat screen t.v. on the wall for your distracting enjoyment. When I first saw them I was confused. I looked at my ipod it shook its head and said nope can't do that, either can the iphone. There is no way to tune into the t.v.s unless you have a radio, like a walkman or something. No little device on the treadmill in which to plug into to so you can hear what you are watching. Can you even purchase these devices anymore? The husband said he was bring in a boom box on his shoulders and then plug the head phones into it. But honest to God, I must have stared at the iphone for a good thirty seconds pondering how to make it tune to a radio frequency. It made the brain hurt and I decided I would just listen to my music.

So dear new fancy gym,

Please join us in the tail end of 2008 and realize that most people listen to music with some sort of mp3 player and are in no way able to tune into to a FM frequency, your televisions are a mere annoyance. The rest of the gym sure is purdy.


Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Seven things in pictures, all scanned

I was tagged by the Clotheline for seven more random things about myself. Here they are in pictures

1. My favorite holiday is Christmas. (Isn't the Manny adorable??)

2. My first car on Christmas morning

3. I used to occasionally do this, now I take my son to do it.

4. I once swam with dolphins, I swam with manatees too but don't have a picture of them.

5. I was supposed to go here with the husband for Valentine's Day 2001 but we missed the bus...I cried.

6. This is my dog Maddy as a naughty three year old, she turns 10 on Friday and we are actually having a little party for the dumb mutt.

7. This is from the very first movie that the husband and I saw together. July 9, 1999. awwww.

I am tagging Welcome to the Circus for some random bits of information. I am sure she has plenty. 

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

To my love:

Happy Veteran's Day!

(and Happy V Day to all of those vets out there that I am not kissing too.)

Monday, November 10, 2008

just when you thought i was a socialist...jennie's expert thoughts on the state of the economy

I had to take a macroeconomics class in order to obtain my degree from the oh so prestigious UNLV, therefore I am completely qualified to discuss the state of the economy. I should be taken at face value and very important financial decisions should be made based on my expert opinions. That and the husband watches CNBC like it is his crack (or as I call it the ugly white man club channel) and some of it has possibly soaked in. 

This economy has now turned into, and I am coining a phrase here people take note, The Biggest Loser Economy.  This is where institutions such as the financial giants, insurance giant AIG (this one I just don't understand), and now the auto industry became so very fat and bloated and refused to look into a mirror. Didn't even bother asking does this dress make me look fat? Then the poor bastards had a heart attack and we (read: your tax dollars that should be funding infrastructure and that fun thing called schools) are now paying the fat bastards to lose weight so they don't go belly up on the ER table. Just like that very annoying show on NBC. Sorry to anyone out there reading this who just won lots of cash eating more than their fair share and then getting money because they lost the weight. I am a heartless bitch at times.  America wake up!!! I believe this is a systemic problem in our nation, everyone wanted new toys and wanted them RIGHT NOW so they ran up their credit card bills which is essentially what the financial institutions did as well, although the bank's credit card holders were We The People with very low credit scores and high credit card/HELOC debt which was held held by those same banks. cliche: endless cycle. 

Let's move on to the auto industry shall we? For years we have made large unsustainable cars and the poo finally hit the fan and now the industry is crying. Disclaimer: I have a large unsustainable car. So free market what should be do? Realize that there is a dwindling market for our inferior gas guzzling cars let the industry go belly up learn our lesson and innovate? No, don't like that capitalism? How's about we give them $25 billion one week and when that isn't enough we pump in another $50 billion. Sound better. Are there strings attached like: "um auto industry try making a sustainable product based on today's market's needs and not the roaring 90s and the I have my head in the sand 2000s. Thanks." No?  How about we just give some cash to shut you up then. I see your head nodding. Let me get my checkbook. 

Now I totally realize that these industries are filled with people with families who need to survive. But I seriously doubt that we are learning any sort of meaningful lesson by paying bloated people cash to lose weight. I don't agree with paying kids who get As either. Hard work is simply expected in my book and so is integrity. And you may ask yourself, what the hell got into her, a spastic fetus jumping around that won't let her sleep? I would reply yes. But also, there is a pink Hummer that lives around here. When gas prices were super high it disappeared and went into hiding, its parents either couldn't afford her food budget or were afraid that she would be maimed by all the Hummer haters. As soon as gas hit $2.50 good old pinky returned to the streets. I see her everywhere now. I see this Hummer as a symbol, let's put all of our financial responsibility to our children (not to mention the Earth) on the back burner and go shopping. Then after we have had one too many corn dogs from Hot Dog on a Stick at the food court and are now rather obese we can go running to someone and ask for a magic dollar to fix all of our problems. 

(I know this maybe a political blog which I thought I was done with, but at least I didn't mention any party names. I may lighten up by tomorrow. Just don't get me started on health care, where my thoughts are completely socialist.) 

Sunday, November 9, 2008

A new day

I am really digging this song right now. I know too many political blogs, this should be the least for a little while.

embedding has been disabled, please check out a new day on

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

if i had been able to drink a glass of champagne i am pretty sure it would have been the whole bottle

Whew that was long, but we have crossed the finish line. I don't think I have ever been more proud of being American. Yesterday seemed like the longest day ever. Both kids home and sick, while I was trying desperately to distract myself from the news. So we made a ballot box, printed out pictures of the candidates and held a Jennie household election. It went 3-1 Obama. The Jennie household went blue. The husband and I were not allowed to participate because we had already voted and voting twice is a big no-no. So both kids and the pets exercised their rights. Exit polling showed that both children voted for Obama, despite the boy campaigning for McCain for a good five minutes before voting, I made sure he adhered to the fifty foot electioneering border around the ballot box. Baby girl did later state she voted for herself but obviously that was just crazy post election punditry.  The dog voted for Obama as well, she being an enthusiastic voter grabbed the Obama picture in her mouth and ran with it to the box. She is German born and has some socialist leanings. She was born on an air base so she is an American citizen but her formative years were spent abroad. The cat, however, went for McCain. He simply sniffed the McCain picture and then went and took a nap. He was born on the streets and was rescued from a shelter in Las Vegas. He is a crotchety man with very strong capitalist leanings, plus is he is pretty pro-life given his meager start and adoption. The kids had fun and we stayed busy for a good hour. 

After the kids went to bed the husband and I watched the coverage and I, in my hormonal state, actually welled up when the news organizations called it for Obama. Not because "my guy" won, but because it was so historic and I felt so proud to be a part of this processes. I have such great hope in our nation. It just proves what hard work and personal determination can do. While watching McCain's concession speech I couldn't help but think that if he had conducted himself with the same grace he was showing last night during the campaign it would have been a lot harder decision for people. I was very impressed with his speech.  I was really surprised to actually know the President-elect before I went to bed. Amazing.  

But, I am very glad this season is over and our nation can actually begin to fix these enormous problems we are facing. And now, I would like to bid audieu to Mr. back tax owing, unlicensed, does not speak for me "real American" Joe the plumber, and say hello to Joe the Vice President. Oh, and I am the most proud of my Obama voting Republican Florida resident grandma.  

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

The pregnancy

I was planning on posting about the differences of my first pregnancy and my third. Or really my attitude towards the pregnancies. Such as, during the boy's go 'round I always knew what week and day I was at, I constantly was looking at pregnancy books, baby books, playing with all the baby accessories I had purchased, never had a drop of caffeine, never ate unpasteurized cheese, never took any medicine, and looked online constantly about anything pregnancy related. My second pregnancy with baby girl I had calmed down, I looked at the books maybe a couple of times, an occasional glance at the Internet, but I still never drank caffeine, or ate blue cheese, and always knew what week I was at. This go around is a bit different. A few weeks ago I started living dangerously and decided, what the hell, I am having some coffee. Granted it is only one half cup a day, but it is a necessity since resting is damn near impossible with the two kiddos running around, that and all the Chinese speaking I am doing at 5:30 in the morning. The other thing is the cheese. I simply began indulging in whatever cheese I wanted. Most of it being pasteurized, actually I am pretty sure all of it has been but I stopped checking the labels. I usually have no idea what week I am at, I was shocked while making my last appointment at the OBs to hear see you in two weeks. Two weeks?!? We are already at that point I asked? Yep, third trimester. I am in my third trimester? Holy Crap. Then I just felt the impending doom of c-section pain, sore nipples, no sleep, and changing 30 diapers a day. I immediately indulged in some Halloween candy. 

I have it pretty easy in the pregnancy department. I get REALLY sick at first but once that fun is over I am pretty much the same. I can't work out very well, but I still try. I take a nap every few days but other than some sciatica I always feel pretty good. Babies always move lots, labs are always normal, never have any high blood pressure. Blessed. Until yesterday...

I had a scare. There was some bleeding. Hardly anything but since I have NEVER had any bleeding in the other two pregnancies I kind of freaked out. After speaking with my doctor and denied all the important questions cramping, labor, baby not moving, I was told I needed to relax and hang out with my feet up the rest of the day. Preferably in bed. So I was on modified bedrest from 2 pm on  yesterday. Let me just say that it SUCKED!!!! I am completely incapable of hanging out in bed all day. Both kids were napping and then we all watched cartoons in bed together and then made a picnic on my bed for dinner. Mr. Worried Husband was not allowed by yours truly to come home early. Let's just say he gets a little too nervous for my taste when I am not 100% normal. The bleeding stopped as suddenly as it started. Obviously I am supposed to call and go in if it starts up again, but Holy Hell I cannot believe that women have to do that for weeks on end! They are some troopers. My mental health would be in the trash can after a few days. Plus, and this is really odd but true, all I could think about was thank God I voted early because if I were stuck at home tomorrow I would go insane. That and both kids are now sick so I am not sure how well voting would have gone today anyway. So needless to say that I had a wake up call from my body stating "hey lady you are not invincible, ask for help and rest or I will make you." So that is what I am trying really hard to do.

Oh, and vote for pete's sake if you haven't already!!!! People died so you could, don't take it for granted. 

Sunday, November 2, 2008

more fun with groceries

You may remember that I do NOT like grocery shopping with the husband. We always end up spending more money than I care to spend. However, for the second month in a row I let him come with me. Not to Costco, oh no no no. But to just the grocery store. Now that I think about it we did check out the new Sprouts store a couple weeks ago together. He picked out some steaks and didn't complain about the lack of food in the house all week. Just a couple of steaks was all it took. So I figure that every once in a while the man can accompany me to the store. He absolutely loves it so, while I HATE it. Loathe it. I Simply do it because we need food. So we can get down to a few dried out tortillas and a shrivled grapefruit and I am cool with it.  The kids do not starve. I promise. Plus, we get our milk delivered so every Monday morning I know that we will have milk. The husband, on the other hand, I think measures our life's successes on how well the pantry is stocked. Plus he prefers that it look like a store shelf, while I have spatial issues. I find organizing spaces really hard. Clean house, very messy closets. So when I shop, come home and unload I tend to just shove the new food in with very little rhyme or reason. Don't look in the back of the fridge, things may have grown appendages. 

But seeing as how I am getting larger by the minute and taking the kids with me to go horrible grocery shopping sounds like torture, the husband was included on Saturday. Did we spend more money. Yep, sure did. Will he actually take his lunch to work with him instead of going out. I seriously doubt it. But, he won't whine or complain about the lack of snacks for a least a week. We will actually have more food to cook, I will say that. When he comes with us I let him take over the whole shopping experience as well, he gets to push baby girl around and picks out the food. While I wander around day dreaming of white sand beaches and mai tais, there may have been a pool boy involved, I can't say for sure. The biggest benefit of having Mr. Man join us is displayed below. He organized and put all the groceries away, even wiped out the fridge and disposed of any multi colored unrecognizable food like substances. I rewarded the effort with cookies. Plus, I only made five comments about the amount spent as opposed to the usually 50. Having the dear man shop with us may be something that I welcome more often. It costs extra, but it certainly helps my sanity. 

Oh and the boy very loudly stated "Hey Mommy look at that fat family," while we were checking out. Nice.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

and then the little bear said, "someone is sleeping in my bed"

I am a nervous, judgemental, and at times overly cautious to the point of annoyance person. I may have told you this before. I am pretty sure I was not always this way, Jennie before kids had common sense about things while Jennie post kids can be a tad neurotic. Especially during infant season, the anxiety can reach epic proportions. I became a stay at home Mommy because some time during the 8th month of my first pregnancy somewhere in my brain a switch got flipped and all those eons of time that women had to keep an infant alive out in elements came flooding in and I no longer trusted that anyone, except for myself, to care for my kids. This includes my husband at times. I have been working on this lack of trust and have realized that my children may be my security blanket or something and that is why I don't easily let them go into the care of another human. And in the same breath I have gut instincts as a Mommy and while alarm bells don't go off when I leave my kids with their Dad or the grandparents and never the other Mommies I know, they have at times screamed at me when I have left them in the care of a babysitter. To the point that I simply am unable to enjoy myself childless and would rather sit home dealing with tantrums, poopy diapers, sticky hands, and other kid time fun instead of eating drenched in butter pan seared scallops and when not with child a glass or two of wine. Today is such a day.

I received in the mail about a month ago the dreaded jury summons. I actually think this would be kind of a cool thing to do, but as a stay at home mom the processes is a bit annoying. One only finds out if there even need to show up at the court house by calling no earlier than 5:30pm the evening before the scheduled date. The husband's place of employment has a rather useful benefit where we receive twenty days a year to use back-up babysitting in the event the primary caregiver is unable to well, provide childcare. So if I have a dentist appointment or something I can call up and they will provide a babysitter. I do have the option to use a daycare center as well. After receiving the jury summons I made a mental note to use the day care center because I figured it would be a long day and the kids would have way more fun playing with other kids and planned activities that with some freak with gold teeth and gang tattoos that lets them watch 7 hours of t.v. and talks on her cell phone non-stop. I have had some really great people show up to watch them and some downright weirdos. The weirdos create alarm bells and then I am completely incapable of focusing on anything other than the impending doom the children are in.  The good ones are never available when you request them because they all quit! 

Unfortunately the daycare did not work out because all of the centers in a twenty mile radius the company contracts through require that baby girl be at least 2.5 years old. So I had to go the freak route. After calling post 5:30 pm yesterday I found out I did not even need to go to jury duty, but also I was unable to cancel the child sitting and if I did I would be charged the 9 hours at $15 an hour. Me, not the company, me. I am not really in the mood for shelling out $135 today, thanks.

So I tell my self, "Self you have shit that needs to get done and now you can do it without the kids." Like going to the library in peace to look for books. So after dropping the boy off at preschool, no sense in him staying home all day to watch Nick Jr., that is what I do. Alarms were going off making it difficult to concentrate on reading. Why were alarm bells going off? Just little things this morning, like her not having her own car, but needing a ride. Asking if it is OK to leave a little early. Can she have some bread to make toast. If I ever need a babysitter and don't want to use the agency give her a call, just don't tell the agency and oh, she doesn't DO weekends. 

Since the alarm bells were going off I figured I would join the lunch time festivities with the children post preschool drop-off. Baby girl was pissed the entire time. Not really sure why, but was just downright pissed. I figured the best thing to do was to eat and then put the kids to bed, they couldn't really get into trouble sleeping. I had to return some make-up at Sephora and drop off the dry cleaning. Then I could come home and casually "work" on the computer until she leaves...early. I told her no problem leave as early as you need to. So after my little hour long errand running I returned home to find her sleeping in my bed!!!!!!!! MY EFFING BED! You know the one I sleep in with my husband. The family bed at five in the morning because that is when the kids wake up and join us. IN MY BED! Raise your hand if you find that odd! Because I sure as hell do. Not sleeping on my couch but in my bed. After hearing me back at home she wakes up to tell me that I have the most comfortable mattress in the world. Gee thanks Goldilocks. 

Seeing as how I was completely dumb stuck and really bad at confronting people I just said "uh, thanks?" with a raised eye-brow and stated she could leave when her ride got here because I am home for the rest of the day. Buh bye now.  The husband called while I was waiting for her to leave. I have yet to tell him because he is REALLY not afraid of confronting people. Sometimes I think he likes it. I figured since this women is already in the house with lil' old pregnant me and my kids and she is acting more and more strange I will just hang out and let the husband deal with the agency later. 

This is why people have gut instincts and alarms! Normal people don't sleep in other people's bed that they just met this morning, and generally if invited to it is in some sort of guest bed, pull out couch, blow up matress on the floor, and NOT in the man and wife of the house's bed! Now if you'll excuse me I am going to change my sheets and wash the duvet, I feel itchy. 

Monday, October 27, 2008


Ok so in the past couple weeks I have really seen the bumper sticker campaign heat up. The Obama Biden sticker is the first for my two year old "new" car. I had a 26.2 sticker for the last one. Plus the poor Kerry Edwards sticker. I never was one for completely plastering my car, but I have at times had other stickers, such as a very nice Calvin and Hobbes one on my first car. I lovingly picked that sticker out. After watching my kids, well mainly my daughter's obsession with stickers, I am amused at adults' little fetish with these things.

While I was sitting with the husband at Wahoo's Fish Taco (we have implemented date nights!) the other night and noticing the incredible amount of stickers around, I wondered allowed whether they had a decorator do it all or just let the employees come in before the store open and go at it. Each of these restaurants have pretty much the same type of sticker. Skateboarding, snowboarding, and surfing brand name stickers. Occasionally you will see an out of place sticker...we saw a local brewery sticker and a lone Apple sticker. Then I saw a bright pink one with black lettering and got really excited, because until I squinted, I thought it was a bumper sticker for Vintage Vinyl

Remember when you actually bought music inside of a store. This is one of those places. This is not unlike the store in the movie High Fidelity and many of the people in it are like Rob or really more extreme in their music snobbery. As a teenager in St. Louis this is where you went to buy music if you were looking for something obscure or for us teenagers the experience. Oh sure of course we all bought tapes or CDs at the mall but if you felt an absolute need for music and acting like a music snob you went to Vintage Vinyl. Yes, they actually had vinyl. I haven't been there in over five years and the last time I went it was about the same: lots of music, CDs, I can't remember tapes, plenty of vinyl, then some stickers to purchase in the back for the non-music shoppers but those needing to purchase something, anything! (That was where the Calvin and Hobbes sticker came from) and some very dirty carpet.  But it seemed as though the pink bumper stickers where almost a teenage prerequisite growing up in St. Louis. Many friends had them on their cars, or in class you would see them on a binder. While at college in the middle of Missouri I would see them about and would instantly know that person was from St. Louis as opposed to, ahem, Kansas City. This sticker I have displayed for your viewing pleasure has changed only slightly, for one there was no web address since there was no web really to speak of. Halfway through high school AOL was introduced and as we all remember charged by the minute, so my memories of high school are certainly NOT filled with images of chat rooms, web sites, and such. Also I don't remember the Granite City address on there, but it could have been. I always surprise myself when I see or smell something from St. Louis, I react happy. As a teenager it was my absolute goal to leave Missouri, but now there are things that I truly miss (gooey butter cake and toasted ravioli). While camping two summers ago the family and I ended up in Crested Butte which is a rather remote location in Colorado and I saw this bumper sticker. It made me reminisce to a very bored husband for a good hour. Funny how you can leave a place over a decade ago and a bumper sticker will take you back, completely flood your brain with dormant memories. But yet,  I can't even remember what the pink sticker was for at Wahoo's and that was only last week.

Monday, October 20, 2008

The joys of living in a swing state

After putting up with the never ending primary season, the DNC, the relentless commercials that I either ignore on a good day or yell at on a bad one, and not to mention the debates, SNL skits, and ceaseless punditry I am quite ready for this campaign season to be OVER. Because Colorado is very evenly divided and that we have nine electoral votes we are getting lots of attention ad  naseum. I am a political girl, I love to talk politics with people. I understand why people are completely charged up this year and are begging for change, whether Democrat or Republican. Lord knows that I certainly am. But there is a mean spirit to this election that I just cannot stomach any longer.  John McCain is no friend of mine and either is Sarah Palin. I think they have gone off the deep end. I am embarrassed for our nation when people compare Obama to a terrorist, either through the loose connection between him and Ayers. And yes for Pete's sake it is loose. Or the more asinine connection that his middle name is Hussein. Mine is Elizabeth, Her Royal Highness and I sip tea together at the palace regularly because of this shared name. Come on.

I feel ashamed when I hear people say that John McCain couldn't have been a very good solider because he was shot down and captured. This of course is complete lunacy and is extremely hurtful to military families with loved ones who have been killed, whether you agree with the war or not that is just plain stupid talk. He has a very inspiring story of strength. I just disagree with him and the Republicans on almost everything. 

But this morning when my husband came inside after dropping the boy off at preschool and told me that our Obama yard sign was gone, I was livid. I had seen on the news here in good 'ol swing state Colorado that people with an opposing view point to the majority view point in their neighborhoods were having their houses egged and spray painted almost nightly not to mention all the propaganda defaced. However, I live in a very mixed section of town and thought that no one would take issue with the yard sign. No one bothered the Kerry Edwards sign four years ago. I was wrong apparently. Seriously, you have issues if you are stealing political yard signs. (The McCain signs across the street were left un-touched.) It in no way changes my mind. In fact all it did was make me donate money to the already very large pot of gold that Obama has raised, get a new sign, two bumper stickers, plus signs for all the other Democrats running in my district. I was even lucky enough to meet my representative during this sign obtaining fiasco. My resolve was strengthened. 

And yet...

I see change on the horizon. For the first time in her 93 year old life my staunchly Republican grandma (who is so Republican that she and my grandfather were invited and went to Nixon's Inauguration) is voting for Obama. Hurry up November 4th, we are at mile 22 of the marathon I know we will make it but it sure does hurt right now. 

Friday, October 17, 2008

At least he knows his place!

Yesterday the husband came home with flowers and a card. Because it was Boss's  Day! No lie, the card was to appreciate my skills as the CEO of the Jennie household.  Such a smart man. 

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

big fat underwear...come back tomorrow Dad

Seeing as how I am knocked up for a third and final time (because Lord help the Jennie household if I have to do this again!) I thought I could now be considered an expert on the subject of massive weight gain primarily in the ass. One might think fat would be redistributed to the tummy region to accommodate the growing fetus. Not in my body. Oh sure my belly is quite large and really stretched out but the scary part is my tush. Mommy and me swim lessons are an exercise in humility at this point. (Thankfully I lose it all during the oh so fun nursing phase.)

Now ladies, we all have been in the maternity stores and gasped in simultaneous horror and bewilderment at the maternity thong. I may or may not have purchased one of these devices last go around to deal with the unsightly underwear line that accompanies white capri's. (The white pants, which do NOT look good on pregnant people, were deemed necessary for the Island Attire mandated heavy hors dourves/open bar for those not pregnant party at the husband's bosses house. At least the food was good.) Thankfully this time I can simply purchase a tree skirt as a dress for Kland's Holiday Party and may blissfully partake in...maternity underwear, and no one will ever know. 

For any men reading, maternity underwear are simply glorified granny pants. And like a scene out of Bridget Jone's diary are necessary because no one wants to look as though her bottom ate her underwear and quite comfy I must say. I purchased some of the unsightly things a couple weeks back, brought them home and gleefully showed them to the unamused husband. But they have gone missing!!!! Missing, still in their package and everything. I looked through the shopping bags they came home in, under the bed with the dust bunnies, in all of the laundry baskets. But nope they are gone. And while the husband may not have been so enamored with  the maternity drawers, where it is almost impossible to tell which side is the front and which side is the back, I don't think he is hiding them from me. Or at least he had better not be. You just don't steal a pregnant ladies' big enough to be a hammock for an eleven pound newborn underwear. I WANT the damn things. And seeing as how they were labeled "maternity" as opposed to "granny" they were slightly pricey.  So I am dealing with my ever growing bottom with boy shorts underwear trying their damnedest to take the place of the other misplaced underpinnings. 

I suppose I could just bite the bullet and go buy some more. I did notice the maternity stores are now selling maternity spanx. I wonder how well they work? 

Monday, October 13, 2008

Some more randomness

I was tagged by The Clothesline for seven random bits of info about moi. Since I have way more than seven I will go for it.

1.  I am currently doggysitting a pug. She is so adorable, sort of looks like an alien, and the kids will NOT leave her alone. The boy "read" her a story this morning and it was the cutest thing ever!

2. I find Weird Al Yankovich rather amusing. (spellchecker thinks Yankovich should be lungfish.  I find that pretty amusing too.)

3. Top Gun and Forest Gump are tied for first place in my favorite movie category. I can watch these two movies over and over and over and never get bored. (I do have more brain power than would be suggested by these selections, I simply choose to ignore it.)

4. I have a pet peeve with unmade beds and dishes in the sink. But don't look in my closets or cabinets because they are a mess. I don't like that either but because I can shut a door I can ignore them. A fun trick I play at my house. 

5. I have lived in six states. (Colorado is a repeated one.) Twelve US cities. Nineteen houses/apartments and one dorm room. Two different countries.  I have an incredible urge to move again. It is a weekly struggle to suppress. 

6.  I am learning a foreign language. (Trying out Rosetta Stone, I just started we'll see how it goes.)

7. I love bacon, I would eat it everyday if I knew it wouldn't kill me. 

OK Anna  I want some useless information!

Thursday, October 9, 2008

the dreaded preschool snack

I am sensitive. I am am the worst kind of sensitive, the kind of person that pretends to be callous and is VERY sarcastic in order to shield the sensitivity. I am getting better at the sensitivity, but definitely not the callousness nor the sarcasm. The sarcasm is pretty fun, I do have to admit. It is funny watching my kids because I can tell right now that the boy is most certainly sensitive, while baby girl is certainly not. He has a soft heart while she is well, um, mean. I am not kidding when I state my daughter is a cross between Mother Theresa and Chairman Mao. She is in it for herself, you could argue that is because she is two, but she was born this way. I am pretty sure she is going to rule the business world as an adult, while the boy...a poet perhaps? If poets are allowed to fly airplanes (B-2 bombers being the current plane of choice) then most likely a poet he shall be. Get my drift here? 

This sensitivity went into melt down proportions yesterday. All revolving around the bane of my existence...The Preschool Snack. (Really any kid outing snack for that matter.) This year at preschool it was decided that state regulations regarding snacks should be followed. They are that no homemade food shall be distributed to the wee children due to allergies (peanuts are the big one) and food born illnesses, i.e. e. coli and a big one for Colorado Hep. A. Apparently prepackaged spinach is a perfectly safe food as long as we forget about the e. coli in the spinach of a few years ago. But whatever. A list was sent out regarding what "healthy snacks" to bring. Healthy snacks being in quotations because I beg to differ on the healthiness of saltine crackers. 

So yesterday during "circle time" a fellow mommy who was in the boy's class volunteering went into a spiel about how fruit snacks were bad because they are full of sugar and sugar is bad and can make you too wiggly for school. Circle time follows snack time, and what was fed to the kids at snack time? Yep, fruit know the chewy not made with fruit sugar bombs, not actual fruit. Apparently these were thoughtfully purchased in the Cars and Princess varieties to keep the kiddos happy. I completely agree with the mom who stated that fruit snack are too full of sugar and while it is debated if sugar makes kids hyper I can attest to sugar causing the wiggles. However, (please climb into the soapdish with me at this time I am about to splash) I have a HUGE problem with another mom volunteer voicing her opinions about snack to the entire class, especially after the kids just ate that snack, thus singling out the poor four year old that brought that snack. 

My son, who did not bring that snack, but did bring cheese sticks and raisins on Monday, misunderstood the whole fruit snack verbiage...being four and because when I do break down and by those delicious little chewy things every once in a while, I call them "chewies." (I really do like the things, seeing as they are oh so close to gummy bears.) When I picked the child up from school he stated in the car that raisins where not a good snack, he couldn't bring them because they are full of sugar and make you wiggly. I tried to figure out what he was talking about and then got most of it out. All except the term fruit snacks. He just kept saying raisins...which literally is a fruit snack. He was crying because he thought he had done something wrong and was just not buying my argument that raisins are an acceptable snack (they are on the "list") and they have lots of potassium, fiber and antioxidants. All of this was lost on him of course and he was beside himself.

We have had these kind of meltdowns before. Last summer during t-ball the boy lost it when it was our turn to bring snack and someone else did as well by mistake. Being  non confrontational I let the other family dole out the snack. The boy apparently had *really* been looking to being a gracious giver of food and a large crying jag ensued. 

After getting no-where with four year old I called the school to find out what exactly had happened. I am generally not a person who calls the school but he was really upset and I had to know if someone really did object to the raisins. Because there some people who object to fruit because of the sugar in it, and I disagree with that opinion. So after being the second parent in line with the phone call I learned that subject in question was not raisins but fruit snacks and the poor child who had handed them out and her mom were quite upset as well. Why? Because a boundary had been crossed. I am all for teachers teaching about healthy eating choices while not putting down a four year's snack choice (or really her mom's) but not a parent volunteer giving opinions. (While I agree with that opinion it was inappropriate to discuss with the class of preschoolers, and instead the newly published "list" should have sufficed for the mom unless there was a continuation of unhealthy snack bringing in and then I feel it is the teacher's place to speak with the mom or the director's).

After telling the boy about the mix up and explained to him that Girl in Class X did nothing wrong as well, perhaps she had been good the day before and wanted to share her special snack with the class he seemed to understand. But this morning he was rather insistent that I stay with him for a few moments at the start of class. And poor Girl Child X called in sick. 

Oy vey! The drama of childhood sensitivities and suburban preschool. 

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Nothing more than judgemental observations.

While picking up pizza for the family this evening at a carryout pizza chain I noticed that some of the employees had band-aids on their chins. At first I thought nothing of it, but while standing around waiting for the pizza (and wings) I had nothing else to do but to dwell on it. Herpes? Massive zits ready to explode at a moments notice right into the melted cheese so that no one would notice. (hungry anyone?) A new trend for pizza employees? A shout out to their hommies in juvie? Finally after staring for five minutes I caught a glimpse of silver. They were covering up their unsightly right below the bottom lip stud. You know because when you walk into a to-go pizza hole in the wall you expect piercing-less teenagers. What you do expect is greasy hair behind a dirty hat completely lacking the hair net, nose picking, exploding zits, dirty finger nails, and untucked shirts. But heaven forbid a piercing. That is just too much for the general pizza eating public to take. 

It was like entering another of my favorite public spaces. The Gas Station. Now granted I pay with debit and generally have no need to actually unstrap the children from their restraints to enjoy the freak show. But occasionally I feel like walking on the wild side and do in fact venture in. Vegas was WAY more interesting than here since "gaming" is allowed inside gas stations, as is smoking which just seems, well, at odds with the flammable nature of gas, but never the less occurred. Also meth junkies with completely rotten teeth are the employee of choice. Here in Colorado things are a bit tamer than that, but have you been inside a gas station lately? Everyone needs to put this substance into their car and yet I NEVER see anyone resembling a normal person inside a gas station. Ever. It honestly is like walking into dirty backwoods toothlessville, where one showers annually. And aquanet is the hair product of choice. Oh sure I am being judgemental but its just something I have noticed and find it rather amusing. 

Thursday, October 2, 2008

damn octopus

It came back the other day. Seriously will someone please tell me why that many people are interested in an octopus?? Is it a forward? A commercial on t.v. A bad dream? People from all over the globe instantaneously decide hey let's google octopus? Very odd.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

A1C Manny

Well he did it. He managed to get yelled at for six weeks, shoot an M-16, get tear gassed, perfected hospital corners, and salute my one time officer mom. The manny crossed into the blue. He even graduated with honors. Now he is off in California learning Mandarin. We were all shocked, having prepared ourselves for Arabic or Farsi and tours of Baghdad, but instead he will be able to order us some killer dishes in Chinatown when we visit him in San Francisco. While at Sea World he even re-gained his Manny skills and stated, "I think she is choking." And I promptly Heimliched my daughter who was indeed choking on a strawberry. 

Being back on a base was certainly bittersweet for me. You never realize how much you can miss a lifestyle (and a husband in uniform) until it is gone. And while the husband would be most likely a Master Sargent drinking coffee and "managing" the airmen from 7-4 every weekday, I couldn't ask him to go back. Even though a huge non-realistic piece of me wanted to. I know full well he would also have done a tour in Korea and Baghdad by now too. He found the experience to be nostalgia inducing as well, he couldn't believe how much he has done in his life since he completed basic training slightly over twelve years ago. When I think about it I am impressed too. (Just don't tell him, he has an ego, you know.)

On the plane ride back, when I should have been watching Mr. Hottie Matt Damon in the the Bourne Identity on the fancy schmancy phone I instead thought about what I want to do with my life now that even the manny is employed. With a damn cool job to boot. Because I know this tiny phase in my life with pass all to quickly and no one will need their butts wiped anymore. I had better start preparing now. So starting this next month I am. I am keeping it between the husband and myself for now, until I get a better handle on the idea. It's kind of large. But if you look back at a previous post where I was ranting about what I love to fits them perfectly. I am starting to feel at peace, and just the thought of me working towards something makes me appreciate all the silly moments with the kids even more. 

Monday, September 22, 2008

bling bling

Thanks to Eat Play Love  I received this award. It is pretty and says in Portugese "This blog invests and believes in proximity." Which I am supposing means "I get to hear all kinds of juicy gossip about you because of your blog and that is pretty cool, thanks for keeping me in the loop." So I am passing it on to The Mitchell Family because now that she has a blog I get in on her gossip too.
And next up we have another major award that I received from The Clothesline this one translates from English into "I dig your blog." I dig hers too and also dig Welcome to the Circus, so I am passing it on to her. 

Have a happy Monday. 

Saturday, September 20, 2008

my overachieving daughter

She is an overachiever. Already at the tender age of two. When she spills maple syrup she dumps out half the bottle. When she decides it is time for "piddy toes" she uses most of the bottle of white out to paint her toe nails, and her feet, and her legs, and maybe some of her cheek. But when she heard that sick season does not start until the end of October she thought she would get a jump on it. You know hit the sick season scene, i.e. the ER, early before the stores got too crowded and she was completely sick of the music of the season that is piped in never pausing. So last September, while eating at the Spaghetti Factory with her family she thought, what better day than today than get this party started. She began to cough. Nothing major, really rather dry and drama-less. Her parents, however, exchanged glances over the overcooked pasta. For they had an idea what she was up to. The family went to bed. At 11 pm she decided it was now or never, Bring on the Sick Season Baby! She began to bark. There was a pronounced stridor when she breathed, she threw in some retraction for good measure. Then she began to scream. Helping the processes along. Her mother and father woke up, flipped a coin and it was the mom who ran off into the night with the barking child. After some steroids, epinephrine, and ride in the ambulance that costs as much as renting a stretched Hummer for the weekend including the gas, and being observed for 5 hours, she called it a night at 430 am. The mom and now one very hyper active two year old drove all the way back home. And slept. Until the boy walked in at 530 am.

A perfect start to the season.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

it was missing for two weeks.

Where else would the missing measuring cup be than under the bed with the dust bunnies, lost shoes, toys, socks that drilled a tunnel up from the dryer, and back packs.

Now I can go back to the pumpkin chocolate chip cookies.

Monday, September 15, 2008

oops I did it again...

So after considering lifting the two ton bag of dog food all by my pregnant self I caved and invited the husband to accompany me to (duhn duhn duhn) Costco. gasp! He had been moping around the house after reading a previous post's Costco ban, but his ears perked up and he started wagging at the mere thought of cases of tomato sauce, gallons of Naked Juice, dino nuggets, and of course, toilet paper. He quipped happily about the good wine prices while entering the store. I replied that the liquor store is closed all weekend. None for him. This of course was a lie, but if mama ain't drinkin' ain't nobody drinkin' in this house. (note: due to Colorado blue laws wine, spirits, full strength beer, and Tequila is not to be sold INSIDE Costco or any other grocery store for that matter, but only at a liquor store 'round the corner. This one was is actually attached to Costco but has a separate door.)  

We proceeded to load up two, yes two, grocery carts worth of bulk packaged food. You know because of the all the horrible weather that we have forecasted for Denver this week and the following nine that necessitates two carts full of food. (80 degrees and sunny) Now I have to say I did purchase the kids Halloween costumes there. 

"Oh look costumes, $20 and lower. Pick what you want to be." 

So now we are a Red Power Ranger and a cow. 

We also did find the most wonderful thing ever. Fresh figs. Not dried, but actually fresh. Trucked in using all kinds of planet killing resources so that little old me can have fifteen fresh figs. I have only seen these in California, and only because I just happened to be there at the exact fig ripening moment. They are so wonderful. And if you give a moose a muffin...she will need some pricey cheese to go with her figs. So that got thrown into the cart(s) too. 

All in all it was a productive (I didn't have to lift the dog food bag) trip. Embarrassingly expensive, but now we have enough food to keep us alive through winter and the husband has his bulk toilet paper. 

Oh, and as a side note. I am curious if YOU, dear reader, were to say have your first day on the job (TODAY!) as a preschool teacher would you wear sweat pants? And would you, have your purse on your shoulder with the I am ready to get the hell out of here stance going on while parents are picking their children up from your classroom?  On. your. first. day? Let me know, it is possible that my standards are a wee high. 

Friday, September 12, 2008

just sayin'

Remember when Obama went to Berlin. (McCain challenged that he was just acting like a celebrity...hmm Ms. Palin??) Perhaps if our leaders could inspire the world like this instead of continually threatening to bomb places and send troops in then perhaps we would regain our stature in the world, you know the whole, "give me your poor your tired masses" thing. I am all for war if necessary but we are PART of this world not above it. 

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

jennie, the least for the day

How a family goes through six loaves of bread in three weeks is beyond me. They are not even close to being teenagers yet. I bought all six loaves at Costco, Rudi's Organic thank you very much. The price of the two pack has gone up a bit this year but seriously what hasn't.  So when I noticed all of the bread was gone I thought, self, we have a bread machine and will make it our self. Because we all know how those "I am just going to the store to buy one thing" trips turn out. And the husband has been completely forbidden to go shopping at Costco or really anywhere for that matter. What should be a $200 trip turns into $400. No lie. He sees organic written on the label and throws it in the basket. It doesn't matter what it is and a bunch of other stuff that he knows I will never make, plus all the snacks and meat...he's from Texas that's all I can say. I have seen his mother's entire room full of food, so I am figuring there is a genetic component. So last time I may have tossed the word divorce around when he came with me. Plus, now I go to the butcher for all of our meat because of recalls and one time I was pretty sure I was eating kangaroo. Slightly more pricey, but all freshly dead and tastes wonderful. I am certainly not letting Mr. Texas anywhere near there. 

So back to the bread. I just pulled it out of the oven. I use the bread maker for the dough and then put the dough in the oven because otherwise it turns out brick-like. Plus I have learned at this altitude a little gluten is necessary, so I add a tablespoon of it too. I have yet to taste it, but it looks and smells wonderful. 

And for my next trick, lemon cake for dessert tonight. I know, I know how domestic of me, huh?