*i wrote this back in september, for those of you who haven't read it yet, enjoy!*
i don't know who coined the term terrible twos, but they hadn't made it to three yet. my son who will actually be four in december occassionally turns into a maniacal tantrum throwing madman. yesterday took the cake. he went nuclear. it was raining when we left the prescribed early monday morning encounter with the speech pathologist. (the boy's articulation is interesting to say the least...i blame the husband's genes).
so it was suggested by some in the playgroup to meet at a coffee shop (the usual one with the big green circle and james blunt blaring). i met another mom there and ordered my pumpkin spice latte with a cream cheese filled pumpkin muffin for the boy. baby girl has a runny nose and is not too interested in food right now. it was fall like outside and i love pumpkin so i was pretty happy with the selection. i see another mom and we sat down, it was awfully cramped in there and strangely quiet for the number of people. her phone rings...the rest of the herd is meeting at another one of these wonderfully over priced yet seemingly hard to avoid purveyors of caffeine. did i mention the other one is all of 250 feet from this one? i am not exaggerating. so we lugged the little angels on over. this one is at least roomier and a heck of a lot noisier with all the kids running around.
darling boy has decided to touch every last breakable object in the joint, and not only with his grubby little kid paws but with his mouth. i suppose he is testing for lead. after countless "nos!" and time outs i had pretty much had it. alright kiddo it is time to go. i am pretty sure people were awoken in their beds in china after the shriek that boy let out. i manage to usher him out the door just in time to have him dart back in...screaming bloody murder the whole time. i am scrambing at this point, holding on to baby girl (who is hysterically laughing) i can only get his shirt collar. he wiggles free racing back in to hide behind a table, still screaming at the top of his lungs. at this point i actually have a stranger approach me to ask if he can help me carry the baby to the car while i carry the demonic child. no thanks, i see a friend approaching to help. she ends up carrying baby girl to the momma mobile while i carry the boy (who is a rather large 48 pounder) who is STILL kicking and screaming (did i hear applause when we left?)
good grief, i am sure that anyone in the over fifty crowd watching was thinking that kid needs a good spanking. lord knows that is what i would have gotten. but ladies and gentlemen this is 2007 one does not spank their child for being unruly (and heaven forbid in public you'd end up on the news). he was just threatened with time outs until eternity. he did get one (or several yesterday...it was just that kind of a day). the true moral here is not to try and entertain starbucks with a three year old...they prefer james blunt.