Monday, February 4, 2008
vanity has gotten the best of me
As a teenager I rarely had a problem with my skin. Oh sure there would be trouble sometimes and I would completely freak out and pick and pick and pick, only to wind up with a scab. My skin is not aging well, oh no mind you, not wrinkles or sun damage, I at times, more often than not, look like an oily Mc Donald's working sixteen year old. Granted there is the off week that I am free and clear from the dreaded rupture, but lately that is not too often. This all started when I was in Germany, not sure why the zitties came then, perhaps all the extra alcohol I was consuming...hey those were my glory days. So after the first few antibiotics and fake hormones didn't do the trick I went on the much hated Accutane. If you google this medication you will find horror stories, thankfully all it caused me was dry lips and the skin quality of a princess. It was shorted lived, a year later I was back on it, but still no side effects. You must have your liver checked while on this medication mine was apparently processing tequila like a champ (although now I am sure I would be passed out under the table from just the smell). So one big beautiful wedding later I was still zit free. As time wore on I would get an occasional break out, but hey nothing to write home about. Until I got pregnant, it was instantaneous. Unfortunately there is not a whole lot to be done about acne while pregnant, except for some good cover-up. Nursing doesn't help matters either. The next pregnancy started off even worse and then cleared up when I was about 4 months. What most adults take for granted I now had. Glowing skin, it wasn't oily, dry, I didn't look like a teenager "in the family way." I even got some compliments on my skin!!!! But, for whatever reason the damn things came back when my daughter was about six month old. Worse than ever too. As soon as I was done nursing I got on some antibiotics, got micro-dermed and a treated with an IPL laser. Plenty of freckles came off, but the pimples held on for dear life. This was actually starting to depress me. I don't have a weight problem, my hair is ok most of the time (aside from a couple of grays), I am sure that a post-baby enhancement wouldn't be a horrible thing, but for the most part I am really ok with my image. I am NOT ok with my skin. So yesterday I had a Levulan photodynamic treatment done. This is not for the faint of heart. No lie, I now look like a tomato! So the process is: micro-derm (this doesn't hurt its more like a rough wash cloth than anything), then some sort of acid is applied (but doesn't hurt), then you hang out and read all about celebrity gossip for an hour, then you sit in front of a BLU U light. This is where it begins to hurt, or burn really. This BLU U light looks like a tanning bed for your face, but it is C-shaped so all sides of your face are covered. Unlike a tanning bed it doesn't cause skin cancer, but is supposed to kill bacteria on your skin. The acid that is applied is activated by the light and is used to obtain a better end response than just the light alone. So while having my flesh burned off I entertained myself by singing show tunes, mainly The Sound of Music. I sat under the light for 12 minutes. One hopes for a tomato like appearance because that means your skin is responding well and hopefully will have the desired "perfect" skin in a couple of weeks. Thankfully, I have the medical hook up (my mama) so this is all very inexpensive because I am not sure I would pay full price for this, I am vain but perhaps not that vain. Plus we are doing very well on the budget (aside from still contemplating the horse). So now I am supposed to stay inside for a few days, direct sunlight burns like the dickens. Plus I am REALLY ugly right now, not only red but puffy to boot. I still have a family to attend to though, so this morning I wrapped my face up in a scarf put on some sun glasses (its cloudy and snowing today) and tried to channel a Muslim Jackie O. I am pretty sure I just looked crazy while taking the boy to speech and grocery shopping. Pretty soon whole sheets of my skin are supposed to peel off, I can't wait. Sheesh.