Thursday, February 21, 2008

why am i still a stay at home mom?

it was once told to be that i was not good at working. i beg to differ on this point, simply because i was very good at my job that i had before i started adventures in mommydom. i actually was very good at all of my jobs. (well maybe not bus-girl, i am a wee clumsy when serving drinks in stemware). i do however, find it incredibly difficult to find employment. i had that problem in college. i had an extremely hard time settling on a major. i went through at least five. i did study very hard in each and every one of my classes. i can see the cum laude behind my name on the diploma from where i am typing this. i am still proud of this despite the fact that i have absolutely no use for that thing all nicely framed on the wall now. in fact, i could probably get by on a second grade reading level at this point. but there is more to education than finding the all encompassing job that one is supposed to obtain upon graduation. to me one of the greatest merits of my degree is that i am not a shrinking violet. i was challenged to think beyond the obvious, to have a opinion and to be able to back it up with a fact or two. i loved college, i loved taking classes, but i just could not figure out what i wanted to do with my "one precious life." i hadn't found my passion.

so am i just selling myself short, am i selling my family short by not returning to work? i really hope not. i never was one that could just do as i was told, i challenge everything. i could say that i am lucky that i "get" to stay at home. that my husband's job provides adequately enough for me not to work. but that is not the whole truth, while yes he provides exceptionally well for all of us, i am not naive enough to think that i couldn't provide the same monetary amount as him if i were to work as well. anyone who says that i "get" to stay home as if i am on some extended vacation where i have maids and nannies and such obviously has never stayed home with a child for longer than a week. this is work and i didn't have a problem finding it. this job fit. i am good at it. it takes the patience of a saint to do this well on some days like any other job in the world. while i may not receive a bonus, or a raise, or a promotion, or even that was a helluva good job you did today; what i do receive is slobbery kisses too many times to count, i get small voices curious about their world and I am the one that gets to explain it to them. me! i get tears, i love yous, and little helpers all day, every day. i get a baby girl who can through a tantrum way better than any ceo who just found out that his private jet is grounded, first class is booked, and he is going to have to ride in coach. i get to laugh at my son's extremely quick wit in the morning when he wakes at 5 and then promptly starts jumping on the bed. so i am sorry to the feminists (or whoever else for that matter) out there saying if i want to change the world i should do it by working and making money, because that is the only way to succeed in life. then i am to buy more useless pieces of crap to feel better about myself. sorry, this feminist says that i made those babies, they lived inside of me and i am going to spend my days with them.

i have found my passion in life. my passion is my family.

3 comments:

The Manny said...

Bravo! Seriously, Bravo! Just keep thinking that when they are older they will be a lot less likely to be antisocial, glue-sniffing, hard-drinking, pot smoking, promiscuous, school suspension machines. Yours will be some of the few and far between that were actually raised by humans instead of Toshiba.

love2cook said...

It is great you have realized your passion is that of your family. There are SO many families out there who see their passion as working, making money, and if they have the latest expensive technological toy they can't afford. They tend to ignore or don't realize how important parenting is and how it truely affects their children as adults. These people frequently want to have others raise their kids for them and then point the finger when their kids have issues. You ARE doing an outstanding job and your children will always remember and be grateful for the vital role you are playing in their life.

kdmacphee said...

Good for you, and me and all the other stay at home MOMS. This has to be one of the most difficult jobs inthe world and the most rewarding. In the future both you and the kids will have forgetten the bad days and they will be eternally greatful that you did this for them.