Dear Large Horrible Insurance Company,
The time I spent on the phone with you this morning was a real treat. Thanks. The time I spent on your website trying to find out what is actually covered under my policy, again a real treat. The automated voice system is real classy. Maybe you would like a recap of our conversation.
Very irritated me: Why is this preventive well child claim not covered?
Condescending you: Because you've used three and your policy only allows for two in the second year of life.
Very irritated me: Oh, really. I see one at 15 months and one at 18 months. When was the third?
Condescending you: In August.
Very irritated me: You mean her twelve month check up? The one that was THREE days after she turned a year?
The one that she was not allowed to schedule until she was at least 365 days old? That one?
Condescending you: Well, that was technically after her birthday. But, I can see your point. The "computer" did this actually. Let me send this to a processor to see if we can cover this claim.
Very irritated me: So because she had her doctor look at her three days after her birthday you aren't going to cover this claim? So she would basically had to have had her appointment on her birthday? Is that what you are telling me?
Condescending you: Um, I am not sure. I will let the processor look at it and then we will notify you in writing some time between seven and thirty days.
Very irritated me: Thanks.
So very large horrible insurance company I had a great time with you this morning. Oh, and the letter I received the other day was a real hoot. You know the one about you so graciously deciding to cover Baby girl's admission to the hospital. Isn't that what we pay you lots and lots for? Oh, and the fun we had last year when we talked daily about the boy's speech coverage that we have listed in our policy but you didn't want to cover at first, that was outstanding. Thanks large insurance company for taking our money and then trying not to pay up. Oh, and how was that CEO's bonus this year? Large enough for the fourth house in Aspen? Yes? Thought so.
Very irritated me