Friday, May 30, 2008

summertime and the livin's easy

Last year's debacle with obtaining a small wadding pool ended with us receiving one that was previously used by a Weimaraner puppy during hunting training. It worked just fine for us, but ended up getting holes in at after our dog tried to dig through it. So off to gasp WalMart I went to see if they had any left because it is hit or miss with the baby pools this time of year. The large plastic tubs are quite coveted in our neck of the woods. Water here is cold year round when it comes from the hose so I filled up the baby pool before nap time and then at 3:15 two screaming children bolted from their beds to escape to some summer bliss in the backyard. It could have been a Countrytime Lemonade commercial. (And now that thought has entered the brain I am craving lemonade.) The large green thing standing on end is a Plasma Car and it is uber cool. Oh yes, I just typed uber...random foreign words sprinkled in is tres trendy. Or really I am just a big dork. This really has no point, let's move on.

And here is the current state of the garden, I am so proud the seeds are growing so big. Sniffle.

Tomatoes are being planted on Sunday! Please ignore the weeds in the dog run area behind the garden, they came from the neighbor's yard I swear. 

Thursday, May 29, 2008

and then we saw this really cool arch...

Sorry this has taken me so long to write. I ended up getting a nasty head cold, have the morning queasies, and in pure JennieFamily fashion took the kids to urgent care. Well, really just girl baby, she fell off a chair and busted open her chin and lip. She was thrilled to be back at urgent care because we had forgotten to check it out in Moab.

While checking the weather before our trip to the desert I noticed something odd, it was to be 65-75 degrees with a 40% chance of rain. Now, I have lived in the Mojave and have noticed that the good 'ol weather service just throws in chances of rain to make people who live in the desert happy. "Did you hear, Fred, there is a 40% chance of rain today. I am so excited I will talk of nothing else." So I packed some lightweight jackets and pants along with all the shorts and bathing suits, I did not pack socks. By the time we arrived after the 5.5 hour drive turned into 7.5 it was a 100% chance of rain and the temperature was a balmy 60 degrees. Oh, and windy. Really windy. So we threw up the tent, crawled in and went to sleep dreaming of warm weather. But woke up to rain. I stated we needed socks, so after breakfast we went to the most crowded junk store I have every been in. Instantly the claustrophobic palpitations began but I did buy these socks, because if I have to wear socks with Chacos they WILL be ugly:

When went to Arches National Park and by the time we go to the delicate arch it was 65 and sunny. I really can't imagine hiking that in 95 degree weather. It is in no way a difficult hike but at 95 degrees wandering around in sand is never fun unless it brings you to an ocean. So I was happy it was cool and the rains had let up. There was a rescue going on at the time, but they managed to find/pull the guy back up and he did seem to be ok. Scary though. The next day we went to Canyonlands National Park and it was incredible. Freezing raining cold but still incredible. We basically ran from the car to the view point snapped a picture and got back in the car because it was 45!!!! But right at lunch time the skies cleared and we bar b qued some hamburgers, but as soon as we were finished it started raining.

Saturday we met up with some old friends who had a booth at the art festival, then later in the evening dumped all five kids with a babysitter and went out on the town. We had dinner and rode cruisers around. It was so fun. There is something about riding a cruiser that feels like being a kid. I NEED one!

The kids loved the vacation despite the cold and rain. The boy cried the first hour in the car, he said Moab has way more things to do than Colorado and he misses his friend he made. Can't blame the kids they got to play in the dirt. In our friends' backyard they built a dirt bike track and the kids had so much time playing on it. The boy, well, he got to be a boy. Baby girl is always happy when dirt is involved. I am sure we will be back.

Sunday, May 25, 2008

hey, you tagged me

I will show you all of my vacation pictures I promise, but the camera is dead and I need to download and we just got back tonight and I NEED to blog and saw I was tagged by Eat Play Love so here I go!

4 Things I was doing 10 years ago-
1. Studying abroad in Cuernavaca, Mexico and having a wonderful time.
2. Switching my major for the fifth time, this time from Anthropology to Biology.
3. Watching my family move to Germany.
4. Moving to horrible Western Missouri for an ill fated attempt at life as a "mini-adult."

4 Things I was doing 5 years ago-
1. Working 15 hours days in Las Vegas during the mortgage industry boom.
2. Was two months pregnant with the boy and throwing up everywhere!
3. Eating at some really great restaurants in Vegas.
4. Hiking Mt. Charleston

4 Things I did yesterday-
1. Hiked the Windows Loop
2. Watched my kids play in the dirt like little kids should.
3. Rode around Moab at night on a pink cruiser with some old friends and remembering why riding a bike is so fun.
4. Woke up in a tent.

4 Shows I like to watch-
1. The Daily Show
2. Frontline
3. My Name is Earl
4. Saturday Night Live

4 Things I Love to Do:
1. Travel
2. Hike
3. Day dream
4. love my family

OK so I am tagging Carpe Diem for this one.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

I distinctly ordered the Antarctic blue super sports wagon with the CB and the optional rally fun pack

Ah, it's that time of year when we load up  the SUV with a drinking problem The Wagon Queen Family Truckster and head west. Wish us luck, we are camping with the under five crowd. This kind of adventuring is always good for some laughs and high blood pressure. Hopefully we will return in one piece and I will show you some pictures. Just let me rummage through the closet and pull out the slide projector and screen and I will enthrall you all for hours on end with pictures of the JennieFamily Vacation 2008.

On a lighter note let's quote some Barry Lopez:

I know what they tell you about the desert but you mustn't believe them. This is no deathbed. Dig down, the earth is moist. Boulders have turned to dust here, the dust feels like graphite. You can hear a man breathe at a distance of twenty yards. You can see out there to the edge where the desert stops and the mountains begin. You think it is perhaps ten miles. It is more than a hundred. Just before the sun sets all the colors will change. Green will turn to blue, red to gold. 

Monday, May 19, 2008

Take me out to the ball game

The boy and his Manny returned from the weekend at Bernie's just in time for the Jenniehousehold's trip to Coors field. This year we decided to slum it and get tickets in the nose bleed section. Above the purple chairs....for those of you not blessed with purple chair knowledge -it is the Mile High Line-5280 ft above sea level, that's right folks, we were really far away from the action. But it was in the shade which is all I really cared about. The kids made it through the first five innings and then we spent the rest of the game playing at the playground, and I might add, it has a much better view of the players very well defined arms. After the game the kids got to run the bases. Which is a bit like herding cats, kids were running straight past Dinger at second base into the outfield and just kept going. Let me tell you the groundskeepers DO NOT like herding cats on the very *perfect* grass. Here take a look at our day:

news flash

For reasons now beyond my control the husband has to clean the cat's box. Hoo Doggie this is going to get crazy.

Friday, May 16, 2008

too funny not to post

"Frankly, we were looking for someone who's able to think outside the blog."
~John Caldwell

Thursday, May 15, 2008

A Weekend at Bernies?...ok, just Grandpa and Grandma's

The boy is embarking on an adventure this evening. He is having a special weekend all by himself at Grandpa and Grandma's house. When we made our abrupt departure last Saturday due to baby girl's wonderfully timed vomitfest the boy was so upset. So this morning when I told him where he was going he was ECSTATIC! Both my kids have stayed at the grandparents house while the husband and I take a weekend to ourselves. But it is usually about once a year, and the boy doesn't really remember a time before baby girl, so this is going to be fantastic for him. He going to get all the attention to himself. He stated that he sure hopes he can go to outer space with Grandpa. So we are packing the Nemo backpack full of favorite toys, books, DVDs, and a suitcase of clothes and sending him on his merry way. We won't know what to do with ourselves having only one child to deal with!

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

I have an unhealthy relationship with my phone

I have a fancy shmancy phone. I love it. And I mean LOVE it, with angels singing, birds chirping, people awing type of love. But I also have butterfingers. I spill things too, most of the time on myself at very inappropriate times. Today while attempting to do a mundane task, such as dial, I dropped it. On the very hard tile floor in the kitchen (you've seen it covered in trash thanks to the dog.) Fancy Shmancy phone was not pleased, it shattered the corner of it, all spider webby. Awful. I wanted to cry. I was speaking to my Dad on the phone about a rather *important* topic and was only thinking "my poor toy is defiled. DEFILED. UGLY. It works, but it is ugly. And really it is only a matter of time before the poor pieces start falling out." It is hard for me to understand this relationship I have developed with this phone. But I am Linus and it is my blanket. I am going to go to the happy fruit store and see what the genius there can do for me besides "hows about spending another obscene amount and wait there is a new and better one coming out soon." Maybe this is a good thing, I can use the phone sparingly instead of reading blogs on it, playing with itunes, looking up craziness on youtube, reading my email, looking at my, ahem, stocks, and checking the time and temperature in London, Singapore, Frankfurt, and, of course, Orlando ALL DAY LONG. But my material obsession deserves a song, and here it is:

and you thought i was strange before.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008


I GOT a BIG IDEA and it is going to be fun!

I love ripping open the trash, not really even to eat it, just to PLAY. Unless there is a diaper in there, then I eat it. Yummy!

Um, maybe that wasn't a good idea. My human monkey looks REALLY MAD. YIKES! I'd better go hide.

Monday, May 12, 2008

Mother's Day...a learning experience was had by me

Mother's Day did not go as planned. (I am a planner: at oh eight hundred I am to have breakfast in bed type of thing.) I am working on my parenting dissertation and now that I am past just mere graduate work, I can handle barfing baby girls on Saturday causing me to abandon all plans, drive back from Grandma's, only to woken up by baby girl eating as much as an elephant and *perfectly* fine on Sunday. But as it turned out, Mother's Day was better than I planned it.

I got the camera, the breakfast in bed, more seeds and flowers to plant, two healthy kids, one great husband, and the realization that I live in Colorado so this is a mere 15 minutes from the house.

Friday, May 9, 2008

Off we go into the wild blue yonder

I was a military brat for a portion of my life. Then I was a military wife for a little while too. Now it seems I will be a military sister, if that is a thing one can be. The Manny was sworn into the US Air Force yesterday.

Dear Manny, I am so very proud of you. I know that you will do a fine job and will excel. I am glad you are starting a new chapter in your life. You were wonderful with the kids and I am only supposing the you've been a good yard boy to mom too. And hey, at least you now don't have to learn obnoxious Village People songs about "other" military branches. And this looks pretty cool too:

Oh, and Happy Birthday!

Dear Husband, Mom, Rockin' Sister in Law, Mother in Law, Father in Law, Tabitha, David, Grandpa, The Becks, Charlie, Will, Lee, Mark, carpediem's husband, and many others that I know but am not listing and for all Veterans and all troops especially those in Iraq and Afghanistan:

Thank you for serving. Each and everyone of you ROCKS! mwah! And give my little brother hell too. :)

Once again love,


Thursday, May 8, 2008

Because this is who I am

It's important to remember that feminism is no longer a group of organizations or leaders. It's the expectations that parents have for their daughters, and their sons, too. It's the way we talk about and treat one another. ~ Anna Quindlen

Dear Media and Marketers in General (yep, with one swift flourish of the fingers I am lumping you all together),

I am tired of you judging women. I am tired of you pushing books, television shows, music, and broadcasting sexist individuals to trump up sales and ratings that demean women, tarting out prepubescent girls, and don't get me started on Tila Tequila and Girls Gone Wild. I am tired of all of the pejorative language used referring to women. I am tired of all moms being grouped together as anxiety ridden about our children, that we are selfish if we return to work and spoiled if we stay home. OR that we are complete nitwits who are obviously unable to make our own decisions about our OWN lives and marriages and parenting. I am tired of YOU creating the Mommy Wars simply so women will tune in or purchase books.

I am happy the term soccer mom is being held at bay during this election because there is a WOMAN running for President. That condescending term had to go. I am hedging my bets if Hillary loses this term will once again rear its ugly head. And while we are on condescending terms: I am not OK with the word MILF. Gee thanks, because my sexuality went out the door when I had kids? And now I am only categorized as Mom? Oh and cougar, that one's great let me tell ya. So once the MILF is past 50 she is a cougar? Nice. Or that anyone past 50 who is well put together and takes care of herself must be a cougar? Once again. Nice. Want another one, how about Trophy Wife. Just sit on the shelf to be looked at, not really human, just pretty. Thanks for deciding for us there are Alpha Moms. Or that we need to market that horrible time in life called middle school by promoting Mean Girls. Fantastic! Keep on selling those Bratz dolls too, because I want my daughter to think of herself as trash and good for only sex and not for anything else.

And this is for you State Governments pass the bloody amendment already!

Section 1. Equality of rights under the law shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any state on account of sex.
Section 2. The Congress shall have the power to enforce, by appropriate legislation, the provisions of this article.
Section 3. This amendment shall take effect two years after the date of ratification.

Three states short of 38 required for ratification

"Maybe the stay-at-home moms will devour the information in The Feminine Mistake and debate my findings in their book clubs. Maybe some of them will even reconsider their choices and start making more sensible plans for the future than relying on the blithe assumption that there will always be an obliging husband around to support them." Leslie Bennetts, um, thanks for that great opinion but I am only supposing that families and WOMEN can make their own opinions without your help. And obliging husband? Really?

So am I being shrill? Obnoxious? A Feminazi? Or you're looking at the calendar and saying um, I think she is PMSing about now. But seriously this demeaning women thing is SOOO last century. Get over it! And yes I am a very serious individual who can't take a joke and never laughs, ever.



Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Mom Blogs

I read a blog named Classy Chaos pretty regularly. Today she posted about receiving nasty comments and also posted a video about mom bloggers from the Today Show. I have reposted the video here. I have noticed a few nasty comments on other sites that I read as well. The mother of all mom bloggers Dooce has spoken about this problem too. Now I can only imagine that once your blog reaches a certain size that you will begin to get some negativity. However, I have noticed there is starting to be some bad press about bloggers. More importantly about MOM bloggers. Somehow we are exploiting our children, we are horrible parents, and blah blah blah. 

So this is MY opinion on the matter. Feel free to leave me yours.

Moms talk about their kids incessantly anyway. Once it was ok to hold hostage the person sitting next to you on an airplane and show him or her wallet sized photos of your kids and then give all sorts of juicy details about diapers, t-ball, and dance recitals. HE/SHe was a perfect stranger! God forbid that person follow you to your car or bus or whatever,  follow you home and do horrible things to you and your family. Oh wait, I guess that could happen anytime, anywhere. But usually it doesn't. On the video Dooce is there as well as Kathy Lee Gifford. (When did Kathy Lee Gifford start working for Today?) Who gives her opinion that basically she is not so sure about this "blogging thing." They talk about women making ad revenue. To which I say more power to you! If you are blogging about poopy diapers, sex with your husband, and make -up and someone wants to pay you. You Rock.

But what I think may be going on here is a nasty continuation of the mommy wars. Which really I never see or hear about in daily life, I just hear or read about it through the friggin' media. This is me being sarcastic "now ladies is this really necessary blogging about baby poo, spilled food, tantrums, and *gasp* relations with your husband. Quiet down please, ladies. You are getting to be a bit much. This really isn't in good taste."

So yeah, if you are getting some cash for telling people about your day and that us MOMS are IMPORTANT in this world keep on blogging. 

And in case you needed some info about my sex life and spirituality because I don't blog about these topics:

This mom has sex with her husband. It is good. Damn good.

There was only one perfect person who walked this Earth, and you and I are not Him.

Roll the tape.

mama always said you'd have days like this

I have claustrophobia, pretty bad too. My house has begun to make me feel claustrophobic because the amount of stuff in it. My house is not one of those houses you see on Dr. Phil where the people have hording issues, that gives me anxiety just watching it, but I really can't handle stuff everywhere so yesterday I decided we would start selling things. I packed a laundry basket full of things sitting around in closets and took them to the local kids' consignment shop. Most were infant gifts that where never taken out of the packaging. They gave me $37.71 for my stuff. I was pleased, I didn't have any attachment to these things for they had simply sat at the top of closets for years. They weren't making me any cash there. 

While driving home from the happy consignment store the Princess SUV expressed her views about needing new shoes. That's right I got a flat. I attract flats. I think I have had six in my life. I am not old, that is a very silly amount of flats. My Princess SUV has a drinking problem as I have mentioned before. She only drinks top shelf too, I tried to slip in a well drink once and she turned on her check engine light and demanded that I take her to the dealer to see what the well drink had done for her. It pissed off her emissions. So now she exclusively drinks top shelf. Which, you may have noticed, has become pretty damn pricey lately. In the past month I have only filled up twice which is hard because she likes to slam her drinks  down as opposed to sipping them politely. (I am trying really hard not to just "drive" around and have been planning trips to get the most stuff done in the smallest amount of distance possible.) So after dealing with the initial oooohhhh  *FUUUUUDDDDGGGGEEEE* moment yesterday, I drove Princess right across the street from the scene of the flat to a tire store of all things. Oh yes, it was right across the street.

They quoted me $985 for new tires. That's right Princess wants Jimmy Choos just like baby girl does apparently. Now the husband has been mentioning that Princess needs new tires very soon. To which I put my fingers in my ears and sang a little ditty. The tire store said "we can't put a new tire on with three old tires because there is so much of a tread difference that it is unsafe and will negate your warranty."  I simply said, "Um I will not be plunking down a thousand dollars without even describing the situation to the husband, can you just put the spare on?!"

So they did and I left. The husband is convinced that we can get either a better deal on the same tires or better tires at the same price elsewhere. Either way, I am saying "thank you Uncle Sam for the "economic stimulus package," I had visions of doing other things with that money but at least you paid for my tires. Gracias. Oops that was Spanish, which is a no no. Thanks." 

Monday, May 5, 2008

Planting Day...and I have a blister to show for it!

I am not sure when most of America stopped planting little backyard vegetable gardens, obviously it used to be a necessity. Then it became a burden. But it seems as though it is gaining popularity once again, a new novelty. When I was pregnant with baby girl I became obsessed with having a garden. I am not sure if it was the hormones talking or what, but I simply HAD to have one. So Texas raised husband (and former FFA participant...yep he raised a steer and a hog, their names were Mooey and Schnoz) was capable of giving into my demands. So we basically made a square in the backyard, tilled up the dirt, put seeds in the dirt, and waited. It was incredible watching it grow. I loved weeding and watering and showing the boy where food came from. Which is the dirt. Or a very pregnant Earth. 

Last year were took our very ridiculous schlepp across the country to Dallas for five weeks and completely missed planting season. I was disappointed. So in October I was feeling antsy and had WAY too much garlic sitting around my house so I threw some in the ground and am very pleased the shoots are now coming up.

But once again Springtime has rolled around and I am in Colorado and not some other state so yesterday I found myself with garden tools and seeds. It was heaven. I love planting vegetables. I know most people like flowers but, this girl is a veggie lover. We mixed up the very nice dirt with yep, manure. I bought it, you can buy steer manure. When purchased there is no smell, but it is a natural fertilizer and rather necessary at first. There is no need to be afraid of contamination because everything is well broken down and harmless once the shoots are poking through and certainly by the time the vegetables flower. We planted: chard, lettuce, cucumbers, acorn squash, edamame (soy beans), and green beans. Soon we will plant the tomatoes and we already planted the garlic. The nice thing about lettuce and chard is that it comes up early so we can put in something else (maybe peppers) that have already been started and have good growth one lettuce and chard are finished and in our bellies.

I did plant some sunflowers too, just to see what happens. I love gardening, it is meditative, healthy, and honestly, nourishing for the soul after being overstimulated by electronics and noise. Maybe I'll go buy a farm...but probably not.

Saturday, May 3, 2008

Dear Universe....

Mommy really wants this bike, it is fun to ride, and well, who can hate a bike with green polka dots.

This one was pretty cool too. Either would be fine. Thanks Universe.



Friday, May 2, 2008

This is a true story!

Imagine for a minute, Dear Reader, a happy family sitting around the dinner table. All are happy, for not one of them is a teenager so everyone is chatting, and using his or her manners. The dinner is nothing to write home about, I am guessing it was some sort of chicken, couscous, and perhaps a couple vegetables. There was no dessert. There is hardly ever dessert. This is the usual meal in the Jennie Household. Most know, and most of the time remember, not to criticize such a boring meal. There are three dark haired with brown eyes individuals sitting at the table. And then there is the blond haired green eyed one. She has an agenda all of her own in this world and it to obtain some Jimmy Choo shoes. She is a smart child and is  learning to speak. Her attempts at making her unfashionable family understand her have been fraught with frustration, that is until the night of the otherwise unmemorable meal...

"Did everyone have a good day today?"

"Yes Daddy, we played in the sprinkler. Mommy said the phone told her is was 82 degrees, that is really hot. Hot enough to play in the sprinkler. Then I got all muddy and the smeared mud all over baby, and Maddy the dog, and my play house. Mommy said that it is supposed to snow tomorrow but I don't believe her. I don't want to eat my chicken. After dinner can we go outside and play tee ball? I am an expert at cleaning the house. Mommy and I did some spring cleaning today and it was really fun. No it wasn't really fun, I am an expert though. I did not take an nap today, but on the other hand baby did....."

and the boy just kept talking.

Baby Girl was contemplating how to tell her family her desires in the the shoe department. While she thought she threw her chicken pieces on the ground for Maddy the Dog. Then she threw the boring broccoli on the floor for Maddy the dog too.

"chew chew chewie!!!"

"....and then I um, um, um, took a skull of a prairie dog into preschool and everyone looked at it with a magnifying glass, well not everyone. Then my best friend *Oliver* (name changed due to possible Internet whack jobs) came in with a cast on his arm. He broke is arm. Can you believe that...."

"What did you say baby girl?"

"chew chew chewie! chew shoes. shoes. shoe. ja chewie shoe."

"The Husband, it sounded like she said chew shoes? That is strange."

"Do you want to eat your shoes?"


"HA HA HA HA my baby sister said chew shoes, you can't eat shoes, I once licked a shoe but Mommy said not to because there are um,um,um, yucky things on the bottom that make me sick....

"ja chew shoes! ja chew shoes."

"The husband, what is she talking about?"

"I think she wants Jimmy Choo Shoes," as he looked up from his blackberry.

"Ok the fact that you know about Jimmy Choo Shoes is more than a little odd. Is that what you want Jimmy Choo Shoes?

With the BIGGEST smile on her face, "CHOO SHOES!"

So the darling blond child was finally able to express her needs, her poor father was choking on a piece of chicken. Jennie was calling her mother, the only one she knew that could fully appreciate such niceties (for she had just returned from Harrod's.)

A few days later Jennie did the best she could do and took the small blonde haired child to a fine store called, Target. Perhaps you have one in your own town, and purchased her a pair of sandals.

Baby girl is putting up with them for now.

Thursday, May 1, 2008

...did not get the memo...

Some small child of mine did NOT get the memo that Nudie Magazine Day is very important to Mommy and completely defiled the Newsweek. Poor Newsweek. 

And just so there is no confusion: 
(Nudie Magazine Day is when the Newsweek arrives at Jennie's house, this usually occurs on Tuesday. She waits patiently by the mailbox until the precise moment when the Newsweek arrives, shuffles the kids into their bedrooms for their naps, and devours it. She is very happy when Anna Quindlen writes the last essay. She is very displeased when Nudie Magazine Day does not occur on Tuesday, but somehow ends up being on Wednesday. When someone else (i.e. the Manny or the Husband) retrieve the Newsweek first and read it all before she does, she pouts and sulks, the nudie magazine has lost it's luster and newness and she is no longer interested in it. She stole this phrase Nudie Magazine Day from the movie Billy Madison.)