Saturday, February 7, 2009

Hits from the bong...kickin' it preschool style

I wrote a couple months back that the boy is no Michael Phelps, at the time I was talking about swimming. The poor child just wasn't into getting his face wet. But after seeing the boy's new "adult" behavior and Mr. Phelps' new world record of the most viewed bong hit, perhaps I need to rethink this idea.

A couple of weeks ago the husband and I were fixing the washing machine...again, and heard from above our heads a very loud, very childlike voice scream "God damn it!" The boy was apparently rather frustrated with his race track toy and decided that having the Creator damn the piece of plastic was in order. The husband and I laughed and laughed, I was crying I was laughing so hard. This child has heard quite a few naughty bits come out of his parents mouth but had never repeated them until that very moment. However, the the next day came the, "Oh crap!" and the "Mom, there are no friggin' C batteries in the house and I need them." It was at this point the husband and I had a little chat about the boy's potty mouth.

But the really fun part was when it was time to go to bed that evening and the husband was enjoying his barely and hops; we told the boy it was bedtime. The boy looked at us with one eye brow raised and took a big gulp straight from the beer bottle. Oh snap.

That's right my sweet little innocent five year old with a loose tooth is now cussing and beer drinking. Not naming any names here, but let's just say that he comes by this behavior honestly. cough cough husband and in-laws. That is until he was threatened with mouth washing and a trip to the Betty Ford Clinic if he kept it up. Put that in your bong and smoke it kid! "But I don't want to go to the Betty Ford Clinic he wailed. I was just curious...crying jag continues while mean Mommy talks to the boy about proper five year old behavior." All the while the husband is saying "Yeah" every once in a while, I guess for good measure.

So while I could say that, we, his parents are to blame, I am not going to. Instead I am blaming his Christian preschool. I heard those kids in there asking each other if they cared for a light beer or regular. Honest.


Mitchell Family said...

I think I speak for all us in-laws when I say, that's freakin' hilarious!

Anonymous said...

That is so funny!!KDV

Cathy said...

do you think he liked the beer? that's when you need to worry. :)

Kathleen said...


my3SmallBears said...

OMG. I guess L isn't the only one sowing her wild oats, LOL. :)