Monday, March 30, 2009

Oh hello there Worry...

The Jennie household had one heck of a spring break let me tell ya.'  Baby girl started out the week with a nasty cold that was possibly pneumonia. The the boy tried to top her by actually getting pneumonia and an ear infection. He decided a fun trick to play was to turn blue so obviously he got had an all expenses paid trip to the ER. Currently the boy is on not one, but two, antibiotics. Being the competitive family that we are big fat baby is working on his own illness. Currently it is just a cough, but we shall see what the week brings. If he is does get sick I can count on shedding the last of my pregnancy pounds...that is what I do, or don't do I suppose. Eat. I am incapable of eating while worried. Sleep goes out the window too, followed by my brain turning to complete anxiety ridden mush and running out my nose. I am looking forward to this weight loss tactic. 

 Only once have I gained weight while not happy. My sophmore year in college I gained 10 pounds which is lot because I am a small person. I wasn't anxious, but bored and depressed. So I made friends with Kahlua. But then Kalhua and I broke up when I moved to Germany and I met a much more fun person named Tequila. Tequila and dancing pretty much took care of those extra pounds. But since becoming a mommy I threw Tequila out and now pretty much rely on my staple...worry. I'm am completely over this relationship but worry just won't take the hint and pack it's bags. Right now I can tell its getting ready to host a party in my household, it tried with the turning blue episode and I put it in a time-out. But when I have a sick infant worry starts sweet talkin' me and then before I know it I've lost 10 pounds and the house smells of bleach and Lysol. 

On another note, the husband prepared a menu of dinners he would like to be fed this week. Tonight's entree involves fish. Apparently he is not concerned with what iodine does to my skin and if I eat too much, my thyroid (this is where worry takes a break and gives the wheel over to full on panic attacks thank you very much borderline hyperthyroid!) But it actually looks pretty yummy and I guess I can tolerate fish every once and a while so I'll play his little game. 

Oh, and these children that are now feeling almost 100% better but not quite well enough to return to the general population are going stark raving mad. MAD I TELL YOU! Too much t.v. and snow...they are driving me crazy!!!! (And perhaps I should switch to decaf.) We played "preschool" this morning, but now that is over I am thinking we had better come up with another project before my house is in shambles. 

Friday, March 27, 2009

Calling all Chefs; or those that just watch the Food Network

We had a blizzard yesterday. The husband's job decided it best if the employees remained home with their families. All was fine and dandy in the Jennie Household until the dreaded dinnertime hour came. I think I may have mentioned before that me no likes to cook. Oh sure I will get into a baking frenzy every once and a while, hormone related I am sure, but I just am not one to cook. I like a good meal when I go out to dinner, I love me some chocolate, but on a daily basis; cup of joe with my Cheerios, followed by PB&J for lunch, some almonds and an apple for snack, dinner is baked chicken with a very large salad. The husband, however, was completely spoiled in this regard as a child. One too many Hostess cupcakes in his brought from home lunch, the type of lunch I would dream about as a child...Snack Packs, Suzi Qs, Twinkies, plus plenty of other goodies I am sure. Nowadays I wouldn't eat this stuff nor feed it to my kids because I have my organic suburban stay at home mommy standards to live up to. But yesterday when I fed my family lentils and rice and was plainly told that I half assed the meal I decided that perhaps snow days are a bad thing. The husband thinks his meals should ALWAYS be a gastrogasmic (how you like them apples spell checker?) experience. Morning, noon, and night.  Obviously when I threw my shoe at his head it missed, because, after 10 years, he still thinks that this is going to happen when I cook. Poor man. 

However, we all have our breaking points and so I am asking YOU dear reader, please send me an easy recipe that is sure to please this man. Or at least a link to one.  I am not a foodie, but I do have a couple of stipulations:

1. it has to be easy enough I can make it while holding big fat baby
2. it needs to be healthy because after dining on too much cheese, red meat and beer the cholesterol fairy came to visit the husband and since he is my sole source of income I am trying to keep him alive
3.  no fish I have issues with iodine

Really I just need 7 meals because there are only 7 dinners in a week and I am thinking he won't be wise to the routine for at least a month. This morning we woke to even more snow and the husband declared he was home again today. I silently wondered if this was a good thing, seeing as how I was going to have to feed him ALL DAY LONG. But to my surprise, he jumped out of bed and made breakfast since he knew that two days of Cheerios would likely kill him. Then we sat around with our coffee discussing prices of hotels in Paris... because we are affluent poseurs. 

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

A thanks to all the ladies in my life

 A person should not be alone. I know this, but it is so easy for me to crawl into my secure shell and hibernate in my safe house. It is easier to not pick up the phone. But I can't do that anymore. Having three small kids is so freakin' hard somedays. Especially when my husband is out of town and baby girl has a bad cold. I practically go crazy. Sleepless nights and and raging hormones equals someone who probably should be slipped a Prozac in her morning coffee. But, in place of mood altering drugs I am choosing to venture out of my shell once again and actually participate in friendships. I feel like a new person this week. So thanks to all the Moms (yes I mean you too Jan) out there helping me out of my shell, your perfectly timed  phone calls, park days, play dates, emails and facebooking (is that a word?) are wonderful. I love my husband, but when I bitch about my afternoon with naughty tantrum throwing children YOU understand. He tries and then pours me a glass of wine. But YOU provide empathy. Thank you. 

And to Ms. T  soon to be a mom in Georgia I will call you to make sure you don't crawl into your shell. 

Thanks Mamas, you are all Rock Stars to me. 

Thursday, March 12, 2009

My brain has had to much time to itself

After I felt sorry for myself for two days I decided I had had enough. I prayed. (Yes Jennie prays!)  This morning I felt like this is my life right now and I had better make the best of it and then I heard a nice little bit of information on NPR. Funny how that happens, huh? It was about doodling and how doodling is a good thing while in a meeting it keeps your brain somewhat attentive to the task at hand. Researchers have found that bored brains are almost hyperactive brains and are seeking activity so they day dream and fixate on things to keep themselves occupied. This is my problem. I am tired and stressed but I am bored. I was really good at school and took quite difficult chemistry classes and so I am sure my brain at one point was a fine tuned precision instrument. My job kept me busy and while I didn't exactly like it it was engaged and had to talk to people. Staying at home can be lonely and let's face it ladies, it can be really boring. So I need to exercise the poor brain because an idle postpartum brain is a dangerous thing. Mine doesn't get too depressed, but it concocts great day dreams and huge anxieties. It needs to stay busy and while I am busy I am not being mentally challenged. And I can't really walk around all day doodling. 

I surveyed what I like and what I am good at. Knitting and other crafty things are not my cup of tea. I am not dexterous enough and have little patience with learning. Nor should I be left alone with a glue gun. So those items are out. Cake decorating does sound fun, but then I would have to eat the cake which is not a good idea. So I am planning on taking time for myself a few times a week to work on my Chinese again, take some time to workout, and write. I really love to write. So much so that I joined a writers club in college. So I am looking to start one again. Or possibly join one if no one I know is interested. It is a lot like a book club you meet a couple times a month at a house or coffee shop. You pick a topic set a timer and write. Then everyone reads what they wrote and discuss. A writing group is fun and helpful because you see how you can be a better writer, mistakes you are making, where your strengths are at. Plus, you meet people and really find out about them. It is challenging and intimidating to read your work aloud, I think this is really what I need right now. So if you live around here and want to join me on this adventure let me know. I am speaking to the lurkers as well.   

Here is the NPR article if you are interested: Doodles

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Wanted: One Wife

The Jennie Household Inc. is seeking a qualified wife/mommy to work full time. The CEO can no longer keep up with the unruly staff and traveling accounting department while working overtime. Current requests for grandparent intervention have been denied or ignored. 

Do you like staying up all night with a fussy infant? Giving  small children multiple time outs. Do you cook low cholesterol meals? Do you clean litter boxes?  Do you enjoy changing diapers and potty training stubborn two year olds?  Do you put four other people before yourself on a daily basis? Do you have no goals or dreams of upward mobility? If so then this job is for you.  

Position requires no extensive travel to exotic locals. Extreme patience and attention to detail is a necessity. Qualified applicants will not have a fear of excrement and vomit. NO educational background is a plus due to mind dulling tedium that comes with the job.  Applicant must be able to wash 14 loads of laundry, cook 21 meals from scratch for 4 people, provide 14 nutritious snacks for two picky children weekly. They also must be able to clean up poop from naughty dog, change a nasty litter box, vacuum daily, mop, clean bathrooms, make beds, pay bills, grocery shop, help with homework, chauffeur children to school and activities, listen to husband's delightful insights on the state of the economy, and watch Jay Leno nightly. Qualified applicants will also change diapers, potty train, bathe and shower children, wipe bottoms, faces, hands, and pick up toys four hundred and eight times daily. Employees will also wake multiple times during the night to be entertained by a chubby baby who enjoys eating his meals on a two hour schedule. Extreme neurosis regarding germs and other children coughing is a mandatory requirement. Wife requirement of the position requires absolute respect for husband and writing smart ass blogs are NOT allowed. 

Appearance requirements:  Those applying may not get sick, shop for themselves, enjoy a warm meal, they must feed the Jennie family prior to eating. Employee must remain patient, smiling at all times, and may not complain lest they seem ungrateful. Personal haircuts are to be received on a twice annual basis. Nails are to be brittle and  legs are to be unshaven. Showers must be limited to once a day and no longer than five minutes in duration. Baths with bubbles, candles, and trashy celebrity magazines featuring Matt Damon are not permitted due to scheduling constraints. Workout time is permitted if other child care arrangements can be made two weeks in advance.  Mom jeans are not allowed  nor are five extra pounds. 

This position has no compensation or benefits package.  Thank you for applying, alleviating current CEO's demanding schedule will allow her to actually enjoy her children and her life, not to mention the trashy magazine featuring Mr. Damon. 

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Letter to me

You may have heard that country song by Brad Paisley "Letter to Me." Every time I hear it I want to actually write a letter to my dumb teenage self. So here it goes, pay special attention if you are a teenage relative of mine, ahem.

Dear teenage Jennie,

You can be by yourself. You really will be OK, do not give all of your attention to your boyfriend. They are boys, they are young and dumb. Learn how to make and keep female friends. Good friends it will serve you so much more later in life than making sure some guy is into you or not. That being said, do not make friends with people who date your ex boyfriend. It just hurts your young heart too much and is seriously not worth the effort. Don't date your friend's exes either. Your friends are more important than that. Do NOT for the love of Pete, date someone that you have nothing in common with. It is a waste of time. Spend that time doing things that you like. Find your passion by trying new things, not just following the crowd. Once again surround yourself with girlfriends...they will mean so much more later in life I promise. 

Study! I know you don't want to and it is a pain in the ass and there are more exciting things that are happening, but if you study hard, and learn to play the game you can go to a better college, pick a reasonable degree path and then you will have all kinds of disposable income once you graduate and land yourself a real job. Your job in high school job should teach you work ethic, but it pays like crap do not think this is an OK end point. You can do way better. I am proud that you never skipped school that much. Boring yes, but lots of things in life are and you just got to deal. 

Your parents are not as stupid as they seem. They love you more than anything in the world. I promise you that. I know this now because I am a parent. Are they selfish? Yes. Have they done really stupid things? Yes. But they are human like everyone else and will make mistakes. You will have a better relationship with them later in life. You don't always agree with them, but you learn that fighting just isn't worth it. They feel really bad about things, they hurt just like you do. 

Driving is a privilege, it can be taken away from you. While you were never caught driving without a license you are bordering on seriously getting screwed. Stop doing it teenage Jennie! 

Don't shoplift! 

Your body looks great stop dwelling on it. In fact eat a doughnut. 

Be nice to people. The wisdom of do unto others...take it to heart. 

Don't dye your hair blue or black. Pink is fine though. 

Don't get that tattoo in college, you will HATE  it later. Your mother is right. 

The little tiny space in your closet that leads to the plumbing is not a good place to hide alcohol. 

Most of all you know right from wrong. When your gut is telling you not to do something, listen to it. It is always right. I know you don't feel like a kid anymore, but you are. Have fun, but seriously think about your life. In a blink of an eye you will be a wife and a mom with real responsibilities. Don't squander your youth on doing things you will regret. And your gut is telling you which ones you will regret.