Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Beefeaters, the Tower Bridge, Harrods, and Hugh Grant?

I am supposed to be doing a few other things besides blogging...like folding two loads of laundry, making the boys bed up with his new bedspread and pillows his great grandma made him, preparing for tonight's billing paying and budgeting party I am having with the CPA husband. It is going to be a hoot! But you know what I am blogging with wine glass in hand to you kind souls...all six of you who read this drivel.

I have a problem about not doing things that I want to do and then feeling resentment about it. I am not sure if all moms do this or just the crowd that I run with. I am pretty sure that my mom just always did what she wanted to...and still does. But I noticed last week that I don't own lipstick. I noticed this because I needed to kiss a paper cut out of my hand and send it to school with baby girl. I used chapstick. I also noticed my hair hadn't been cut since February and the grays were up there multiplying and sneering. I realized that I have not bought clothes for myself with out a gift card (given to me by my concerned mother) for 4 years. FOUR YEARS!!!!! Outlet mall in St. Augustine, FL thank you kindly. My clothes are hand me downs of said concerned mother or gifts of said concerned mother. I WANT NEW CLOTHES. It is not that we can't afford new clothes, or that my husband won't let me shop or any such nonsense. It is that I don't take the time. I don't take the time to purchase lipstick, cut my hair, I only go to the gym when the two older kids are at school and the baby will nap there (and there are less kids there so he won't get sick).

The husband does not have this problem. When he is tired mid day on a random Saturday you can find him snoozing in front of some sports program. When on business trip does he sit in his hotel room brooding over the fact that he is not with his family and that his poor wife is at home alone tragically with three kids none of which will sleep and all appear to have gobs of wax in their ears for none will listen? Nope. He is out to dinner, drinks, baseball games, checking out local tri-clubs that have Olympic athletes who coach them. When he needs new clothes he buys them, his hair is neatly groomed complete with product. He has been like this since I met him. I used to be like this too. I really don't think that it is selfish. A year ago I did. But today I don't. People are nicer to one another when they take a little time for themselves.

This past month I realized why suburban moms are grouchy and overweight. All we do is drive our families to THEIR lives and purchase things for THEIR lives and not our own. We are constantly in the car, or preparing to be in the car or just returning from being in the car...all the car time was spent driving people to school and activities. I think school and activities are important. So I will drive my kids. I have an iPhone so I can keep myself somewhat amused while waiting for said kids to enjoys their lives. But yet, I am a do-er. I am a person that needs to DO things. I need to move. I need something to look forward to. I need to day dream about it, how much fun it will be and what I will wear. I know I should be above the what I should wear thing but I am not. I think about it. But yet, I hardly ever go out and then when I do I feel terribly guilty about it. My trip to LA this year was so much fun. On a whim, in a very un Jennie-like fashion I left the baby so I could go out and eat with friends, just as adults. It was awesome. I love my kids but adult time is very good. I figured he was fine, he was with someone who watches my friend's son all the time. It was the first time I left him with a non relative babysitter where I was not in the building running on a treadmill. I had so much fun in fact I said to my self, Self what the hell are you doing? Are you just a chauffeur to everyone else's fun? Are you not worth it? Do you not deserve fun too? This is YOUR life as well, the martyr thing is getting a bit old.

I pondered this thought for a while. Then the lipstick and hair thing happened. I thought enough is enough. I got my hair cut. (Grays are still there but I am working on that.) On Saturday I went shopping by myself. The kids stayed with their OTHER parent, he is not a babysitter. I learned that jean shopping while necessary, is never fun, kids in tow or not. Then while Mr. Man was snoozing in front of baseball I up and left for yoga. (I did wait 45 minutes into the nap and did tell him I was leaving, the other people that live here were asleep as well.)

And then the coolest thing ever happened. While I was checking my email a friend emailed that she had a slamming deal on tickets/hotel to London in January because her brother is a travel agent. Do I and another friend want to come? LONDON??? I sat and thought about it for 20 minutes. It was such a deal that it was so hard to pass up based on money alone. Oh I could be all altruistic and say that I shouldn't because we just bought a house and the economy is bad and are there savings and student loan bills and all that. Yes I could Suze Orman, but I didn't and I am not going too. All these thoughts were running in my head, what about the kids will they be OK with the husband? Will he mind? Will they be scared for life? On and on it went, until I let the husband read the email. All he said was "bye."

REALLY??? I can go? You don't mind?

Nope not at all.

The I started squealing and jumping up and down. It was obnoxious but I was and am just so excited. Six nights in London with friends. Do what I want when I want. Its going to be such a whirl wind there will be no sleeping in or succumbing to the jet lag (I never sleep now anyway so I can handle that.)As you all know I love Europe. Do I feel selfish. Yep, but this is my life too and when opportunities like this come up I am no longer going to pass them up because someone may get a cold while I am gone, or eat too much candy, or sleep in their clothes the whole time. The husband is their parent, not their babysitting he can hang. (Plus he is going on his own life changing trip in November that I will blog about...it is an awesome one for sure.) Now I am dreaming of fish and chips, hard cider on tap, tubes, beautiful black cabs, train stations, dreary weather, Earl Grey, museums, Cathedrals, plays in the West End, Harrods, not really Hugh Grant but perhaps Chris Martin. And not to mention what I will wear. I put my check in the mail today and lifted up the little flag thing. It felt good knowing that I was doing this for myself, being spontaneous once again, trusting my husband...I think I am making progress.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Herman the Worm

Ever curious about how moss reproduces? Perhaps horses in Mongolia would tickle your fancy. Need to know which tube to take from Heathrow to the heart of London. Google it, right? Most people would. But for completely useless knowledge my husband asks me. Completely useless information lodges itself into my brain clogging it. Like what were you doing the night of May 19th 1994? What were you wearing? Ok I can't say for sure what I was doing on that exact day but I remember 1994 like it was yesterday. And 1998, 1986, 2002 and so on. It's like I push the play button in my head and everything comes streaming in.

The husband and I were discussing this fact about me last night. It drives him nuts. I will drag up the most mundane crap and rehash it. He remembers almost nothing of it and pretends to listen politely. He even forgets big crap, like when I was admitted to the hospital for three days with food poisoning in 2000. I asked him how he could forget that? Well we weren't married then was his answer. But, I stated, we were living together and you took me to the E.R. how can you for get that? You visited me and brought me underwear and a brush! Nothing! He remembers nothing! That lack of memory would drive me insane. I daydream a lot. I tell myself stories all day long. Sometimes they are completely fictional, and I think man if I could just write this down I'd have the next great novel. But then someone needs a diaper change. So while diaper changing I start remembering something. Anything. It really doesn't matter, always random, usually amusing. The boy loves to hear stories about when mommy was younger. "And then what happened Mommy?" "What were you doing when you heard this song Mommy? How old were you and did you like it." (The last question occurs during "classic alternative" listening hour.)

But my memory failed me today. Baby girl started preschool this week. She is absolutely adorable about going. She loves it. She has the same teacher the boy did when he was three. He looked like such a big kid when he was in her class (granted he was most likely the size of a five year old then). I loved taking him and seeing him all excited to play with his friends and tell me how he played with trucks and cars and playing outside was his favorite part. He would bring home some half assed painting. No I am not being mean, the kid doesn't like to paint, draw, mess with play dough or any other crafty activity. For one, he doesn't like slimy things touching his hands and two, he's a boy and can't sit still. But I always got the biggest kick out of him coming home singing Herman the Worm. It took the husband and I a few weeks to figure out what he was saying. He was in speech therapy at the time and was making improvements but the word "yo yo" sounded nothing like how "yo yo" usually sounds. Eventually we understood and would sing with him. Then I got pregnant with big fat baby and the summer came and I guess Herman the Worm went back underground. The next year at preschool he actually learned how to read and write and even a tad bit of math so there was not a lot of time for Herman the Worm.

When I went to pick up baby girl today her class was sitting on the circle time rug and it was so darn cute. They are all wide eyed staring intently, focusing on sitting criss-cross applesauce and were all singing Herman the Worm. Baby girl was singing really loud and could see me out in the hall and kept checking to see if I was paying attention. All the memories of the boy and this song came flooding back. How could I have forgotten about this. It was so wonderful listening to him sing and mispronounce all the words. Baby girl singing and making the chomping noises was mommy heart melting. Why does my brain know that the Piccadilly Line is the one to take and that Mongolian horses have really fat necks and then the whole moss reproduction thing...there is a reason why moss grows in wet climates and that my brain tells me I was wearing a plaid skirt, black sweater, doc martens and was stopping around obnoxiously with friends in October 1994 like it was yesterday? And yet, my kids singing is such a fleeting memory. Sometimes it feels like life sped up after I had kids and has gone into hyperspeed in the past couple of years. I still remember plenty from our day to day activities, and Lord do I remember when the husband does something stupid. Hopefully by the time that big fay baby rolls up to preschool I will remember that small people singing about worms is hilarious and something to hang on to.

*For those reading who are saying who the frak is Herman the Worm here are the lyrics*

I was sitting on the front porch
chewing on my bubble gum (chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp)
Playing with my yo-yo (up and down with hands)
Zing zing (continue yo-yo motion)

When along came Herman the worm yeah (worm motion with hands)
and he was.....
1 inch (verse 1 ) (measure with hands)
And I said "Herman what happened?"
And Herman said "Duuuuuhhhh, I swallowed a...car

*repeat beginning
When along came Herman the worm yeah (worm motion with hands)
and he was.....
6 inches (verse 2)
And I said "Herman what happened?"
And Herman said "Duuuuuhhhh, I swallowed a...truck

*repeat beginning
When along came Herman the worm yeah (worm motion with hands)
and he was....
2 feet (verse 4)
And I said "Herman what happened?"
And Herman said "Duuuuuhhhh, I swallowed a...train

Oh Herman!!!

And Herman just crawled away like this

*repeat beginning
When along came Herman the worm yeah (worm motion with hands)
and he was.....this big (1 inch)

And I said "Herman what happened?"

And Herman said"uuuhhh, I burped!"
Oh Herman!!!!

Thursday, September 3, 2009

such a sweet little thing...

This is my darling baby girl. She is cleaning her kitchen. You know monkey see monkey do. She was scrubbing the heck out of it really. It was so adorable that I took a picture. And then I turned around to see what she had done to my kitchen in order to clean hers....

I've spared you the river running along the floor from my my sink over to hers.