Postpartum me

This phase of life amuses me so. That is, if I were to take a step back and look at myself from an outsiders perspective. The first couple months after having a baby are like some crazed emotional three ringed circus where no one sleeps and everyone sprays milk all over everything.  Plus there are adults that throw tantrums better than a well practiced two year old. The first few days are like Christmas morning...husbands buying diamonds, there are tears, hugs, loving gazes. Then the hormones plunge and someone begins to have fits about how messy the house is, the lack of sleep, and what the hell is going on with her body. Not to mention the Mommy Brain where someone mistakenly put the milk into the pantry with the cereal only to have her spouse find it hours later at room temperature. At least that is what I have heard, not that I would have a tantrum, ever. 

For me it is solely about the this fine little food group I am now calling chocolate. After the boy was born I discovered this delicacy. I began craving something and nothing in my normal diet would satisfy this craving. I knew it had to be sugar based, but the usual gummies, starbursts, skittles, and sweet tarts were not cutting it. Then I got my hands on some chocolate cake at a restaurant. It was pure heaven. I was all, "have you tried this stuff, what is it?"

Husband: Um that would be chocolate.

Me: Wasn't that a movie? 

Husband: Seriously, it is chocolate.

Me: I must be left alone in a room with pounds of this thing you call chocolate. I'll call you later. Oh and if that little squirmy thing starts to cry bring him to me, but until then I want to be alone with this sweet goodness.

Husband: Alrighty then.

After girl baby was born I pretty much behaved the same way, but decided I was going to lose my weight super fast and only bought the 100 calorie chocolate cookie packs and then ate the whole box of them in one sitting. 

So this go around when the chocolate craving struck I was prepared. I have in my possession a HUGE box of brownie mix from Costco. Not to mention that very kind people that I associate with have been bringing me meals with dessert complimentary. I am losing weight pretty well so today when a box of Annie's chocolate bunny cracker/cookies waltzed through the door I honest to God poured them into a bowl and ate them like cereal, you know with milk in the bowl. Pure chocolaty female hormonal goodness. I am pretty sure I put the milk back in the refrigerator. 

baby girl's mothering skills abound

Since giving birth and then subsequently nursing the third (and FINAL hallelujah!) child baby girl has noticed that she too has, ahem, mammary glands. The boy simply asked me what I was doing the first time he saw me feeding the baby was satisfied with the answer. He has since moved on to more pressing concerns like if transformers can turn into logs or not. While baby girl was very concerned about what exactly I was doing. I explained I was feeding the baby Mommy Milk so she has decided to nurse her baby dolls right along with me. She has a brood to feed so she carefully selects which one she will feed, puts the boppy on her lap and proceeds to feed the baby out of her belly button. Now I know that she understands that Mommy Milk comes out someplace higher. But she also has learned this week that Mommy Milk requires one to actually be A mommy and to have had a baby in one's tummy so she is unable to nurse from the "traditional area" but from instead her belly button. She is practicing her critical thinking skills. 

a return to life...chapter three

The baby is asleep and no one else is home...a good time to blog. All in all the birth was a success. The wee one was ripped from my body with his cord around his neck not once but twice for good measure. He was perfectly fine though and I have to say that I am recovering faster with this one than with the previous two. I went home from the hospital a day early and have since been nursing and changing diapers. Pretty easy stuff really. However, tomorrow the husband returns to his new place of employment and I will have all three children with me. Plus I get to drive one to preschool. The first post partum drive is always a really treat, panic attacks, going 10 below the speed limit, hyperventilating...it should be fun. I am really not looking forward to tomorrow. I was completely spoiled with the last two and had the husband home for weeks. But since I am now qualified to write a book on parenting and am the proverbial "they" as in "they say that..." I think I will buck up and take it like a woman!

The wee one is a VERY easy going baby so far, like most men he cares mainly for boobs and his stomach and that is about it. Baby girl was all about building relationships and bonding from day one so this is decidedly easier. Plus it really is just more on the pile of laundry, no life change going on here, just more soiled onsies. We are truly blessed.

Oh and the husband renegotiated his marital contract by presenting me with a little sparkly thing that came in THE BLUE BOX of all blue boxes post c-section. I have consulted with the board and have decided to keep him on staff at the Jennie Household in a permanent capacity.

My selfish weekend

Only a few short days to go, my entire body is ready. I am sure the baby is pretty ready, for there is little room left inside. The house is ready. I KNOW the husband is ready for the pregnancy to be over. Even baby girls says "baby come out now??" So this was my last weekend before all hell breaks loose. I spent it how I wanted to. I was selfish, it was wonderful. The husband and I went out on a date. It was all afternoon, I just can't handle being vertical past 8:30 so I am pretty much only up for daytime activities right now. We went to lunch and then watched our lives being played out on the big screen. We saw Marley and Me. This movie completely depicted our lives. Everything that naughty Marley has done, our crazy dog Maddy has done. The family dynamics that played out in the movie was us. It was so strange to watch and very appropriate at the same time given our next adventure that is about to begin.

Today I went out to lunch with two wonderful friends. The food was awesome, the conversation was much needed. I felt happy and relaxed when I came home. I came home to a very frazzled husband but I was so relaxed and mentally replenished from all my fun from the past two afternoons that I sent him on his way to go find his own mojo. He has since returned and too has found his happy place. If someone would of told me five years ago that a couple of simple lunches and one movie could make my entire weekend bliss, I would have laughed. That was the time when I did what I wanted when I wanted. I never take a lunch date or movie for granted these days. Selfish time is now precious to me. So my last weekend before all hell breaks loose was perfect.

I doubt I will post again before the blessed event so please wish me some bloggy luck. The Jennie household has battened down the hatches and we are ready and more than a little excited for the coming storm.

He speaks in whispers....

I believe that God speaks in whispers and when you ignore the whispers you'll get a slap in the face. I generally get two whispers and then a slap. There is something to the number three. I got a couple of whispers in the past month and then I got one HUGE slap in the face. For a few days I pouted about the slap, it stung and still does but then I realized I should be learning something from this slap, not just feeling sorry for myself. This little thought hit me like a ton of bricks last night in bed (you know when you are exhausted but your mind all of the sudden starts to work beyond "the house is messy and why won't baby girl sleep...ever...thoughts.)

I had made a comment earlier in the day to someone that pregnancy and the post partum period are very hard on me mentally because a lot of who I am is based on how my body functions. I have to move, this is just who I am. I had no problem riding my bike with a cast on my wrist and two broken elbows. Pregnancy drives me nuts because I can't run, bike, ski, hike for hours because they are dangerous and rather taxing at this point. I have found swimming helps because you don't feel so large in the water. But swimming is rather labor intensive, plus I have to lie to my kids because if they knew that I was swimming all hell would break loose. I am pretty harsh on my body, I rush it's healing. I never say thank you to it for what it does. I take it for granted. Plus I have lost the spiritual aspect to my body (oh that post yoga bliss I miss you....) To me it is all function. I never really consider what looks good on it, but rather how it is flawed. The poor thing doesn't even get lotioned properly. (I do bathe on a regular basis though, I promise).

But last night while in bed it occured to me: my body IS indeed doing something right now. It is doing a whole lot, not just functionally but quite spiritual as well. My slap in the face was to be kinder to my body and soul. Not to rush this precious moment and the post partum period. They are important in life. I want to remember that while I feel tied down while nursing, my body alone is sustaining another human life. These are important. Way more important than running, hiking, or skiing. So my resolution for this new year and new baby and new change in the family is to take care of me. To be proud of my body regardless of the strech marks it now has or how my thighs have changed, or my stomach is no longer completely flat, but instead to exude the confidence that I had in it when I was younger. In high school I was awarded best body at the end of my senior year and while I was flabbergasted because most of the time I wore really baggy clothes so it was pretty hard to tell there was a body under there (it was the grunge period) I was flattered and knew it was partially due to my confidence in it. Plus this award says a lot of my high school; it was pre everyone is getting a boob job times, no super easy access to porn, MTV played music most of the time not silly shows about flawless bodies in Southern California, plus it was a REALLY small school. At 21 I was pretty much at the height of perfection for my body. I never questioned if I looked hot when I went out...I just knew. Arrogant probably, but I was confident. Now that my body has had three people live in it, cut open, I have nursed two and will do it again, and have even run marathons I no longer have that confidence. I should, the fact that a body can do these things is so much greater than any silly award at 17 or looking great on the beach. (Not that I wouldn't mind looking great on the beach.) But with a week left to go I am no longer going to view my body as fat, slow, cumbersome, but that I am pregnant. I am going to take care of myself for once, sit up straight, put on some lotion, give myself time to heal, and be in awe of the fact that I make food. I am sad that it has taken me three pregnancies to figure this out but hey, third time's a charm right? I may even let the husband take my picture.

Here is a Travis video that I think is pretty cool right now.

Jennie's horrible no good rotten day

Yesterday, I had a blissful day shopping. I had a gift card and holy moly the sales that take place on January 1st are unbelievable. I sucked up the pain (which is, according to my doctor, that the head is very low and my cervix is thin but in no way has it dilated.) I paid for my shopping extravaganza the rest of the day, but it was so worth it. I love gift cards, I know many people find them impersonal, but to me they are time (not to mention cash) to shop which I would never do otherwise. I am a girl and girls do like shopping, I just don't partake in this activity very often. Unless Costco or the grocery store counts. blech.

But this morning either my perspective changed or there is something happening with the force. It started out like most other days. The boy wakes up at 5 and I convince him to go back to bed, but he can't because he wet the bed. So he crawls in with us, with new jammies on of course. Then at about 6 he NEEDS to get up so he watches some cartoons and plays with toys. I doze. Baby girl wakes and announces she is poopy. So I begin my day.

Today, like every other day, I am the owner of a Volvo XC90. I purposely have not mentioned this fact before. But Ms. Rich Bitch Princess forced me to reveal her identity today. If you are considering buying one, just don't they are not worth the headache. We purchased the SUV with the greatest safety features ever 2.5 years ago, gently used. Apparently her previous owners bought her and then decided to divorce less than a year later. She is still a spring chicken. We have put some miles on her like around 40 thousand. We travel a lot. But for being as young as she is, she sure likes to break. Or shall I say, she enjoys her time at the spa. Which is where she is now...until Wednesday. About two months ago she was leaking transmission fluid. She already has had lots of gaskets changed on her. Her oil and transmission fluid were mixing about a year ago. She requires very expensive tires and that pricey gas. Fast forward to about two weeks ago and I noticed the car was making a lot of noise around 55 mph. It honestly sounded like a bad wheel bearing. We had a couple of them do that in the last car. After all the holiday festivities were over we figured we better get this problem fixed because of the blessed event about to take place. We drug Princess to the spa and dropped her off thinking she'd come home later today. AND then I went shopping...at Costco. Why because we needed dog food and I can't lift the bag by myself and Mr. Man is unemployed so he is home right now. (Just until Monday, then he starts his new and hopefully improved job. KLAND had gotten on my last nerve.) So I hobbled around Costco for an hour. We bought dog food. It was quite the domestic moment.

Then the spa called. Princess was extending her vacation until Wednesday because there is something wrong with her drive shaft. Very dangerous to drive her right now blah blah blah...$1500 blah blah blah. I haven't mentioned that we are shelling out $1200 in Cobra insurance costs because I am pregnant and the husband is unemployed for five days this month. Plus we aren't 100% sure that the new insurance isn't going to consider this person inside me as a preexisting condition. Obviously $1200 is less than ten thousand in hospital bills, and you never now when baby girl get croup and the boy is due for some sort of event, it has been awhile. So we are being extra cautious. So Merry effing New Year bank account. Oh, and the fact that Mr. Man is going out of town for three days next week and so I have to drive the other exact opposite car to somewhere else in Colorado in case I go into labor and for yet another pesky OB appointment. Let's just say the other car is old (it has a tape deck), has no heat or air conditionig, no safety features, BUT NEVER EVER BREAKS. (knock on wood) Plus it takes regular old gas. It is a tank. But, there is not room for three car seats in it so let's just hope Mr. fetus stays put. I could rent another car, but I am thinking that I am pretty cheap at this point.

And have I mentioned that my pelvis hurts??? I need my Mommy.