Thursday, January 7, 2010

America's favorite pastime, ice dancing.

I don't remember my father watching football as a child. Well, I do remember it once while we were visiting my grandparents in El Paso we watched the Rose Bowl because Iowa was in it and that is where we lived at the time. I mean, my father went to K-State and he likes to give to Kansas people a hard time. He didn't appreciate it when I decided to go to MU. Then there was the time we lived in Oklahoma and the Manny was under going his potty training and my father dubbed the word Boomer for poop, so to this day when I here about the Boomer Sooners all I think about is poop. So there was football references in my childhood but not so many games on that I recall. I also have NO recollection of the Manny watching football, ever. But a few years at Florida State will change a person and now he is a football watcher.

Somehow about a decade ago I managed to fly to Germany and meet a Texan, fall in love, and marry him. I found out that he likes sports, a lot. We didn't watch t.v. in Germany because it was, well, all in German and for what ever reason we never really watched football when we lived in Las Vegas either. Or baseball, hockey, basketball, golf, horse racing, Nascar, windsufing. OK so maybe it isn't that bad. But this year has taken the cake as far a sports watching goes as far as I'm concerned. I like a little football, it makes for good background noise, as does baseball. I do love the Tour de France and the Olympics. I was in Mexico during El Mundial (World Cup) and remember quite well being in Amsterdam when Holland beat Iran for some soccer something or other. Man, does the rest of the world love soccer!

Tonight the husband called me on his way home to state that some game was on and would I please watch it with him. Oh and can we have game night food like pizza, wings, pretzels, and beer too? (I have since found out the game is the Rose Bowl, but why in God's good name is the Rose Bowl parade on January first and the game is today? And the food? HA! It was dinner time and I already had dinner going so Mr. Man was unable to further clog his arteries this evening.) I stated that I would watch the game but would need a book or something because I never understand anything that I am watching anyway and I get bored. Yes, even after watching my son play pee wee football I still understand not a damn thing about football. My dear husband politely reminded me that if I were to listen to him while he explained the game I would understand it by now. I told him that I understand baseball just fine and he watches plenty of that too. He told me that if he had to pick of the two it would be baseball. You know because there are sunflower seeds involved. Personally I think this is because there are something near a thousand baseball games on all summer. I, being the sassy person that I am, stated as much.

My dear husband reminded me that he quietly sat through an entire ballet named the Nutcracker a couple weeks ago. To which I replied:

Yes, it took ten years of begging to get you to go and you sat through 2 hours of a ballet. Perhaps I will take up watching ice dancing and all winter long promptly at 5 p.m. I will turn on ice dancing, break out the coconut flavored wine coolers and bon bons, not speak to anyone else in the house, not let anyone change the channel, make sure I watch the pre-ice dancing show and follow up by watching the local sports commentator on the news' take on the ice dancing. Naturally, I will scream at the ice dancers on television. Oh and if the family wanted to go out for dinner I will take them to my favorite ice dancing bar and will wear my favorite ice dancer's costume around all day. I will make sure that all members of my family had matching ice dancing costumes to boot. While at my favorite ice dancing bar I will once again ignore my scantily clad sequined family while I eat my bon bons go between watching the ice dancing on all 200 t.v.s around the place and staring at the male waiters in tights. And Lord help me if I were to actually go to an ice dancing extravaganza in which I had one too many coconut flavored wine coolers and ended up on the jumbotron, well that my friends would be such a highlight of my week that I would instantly facebook about it!

Now if you excuse me, the Rose Bowl is on and I must smoosh myself into a powered blue sequined leotard with skirt and enjoy the game and blow the froth off a coconut flavored wine cooler.


Adoptive Momma of Two said...
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Adoptive Momma of Two said...

I'm watching the Rose Bowl husband gave up and went to sleep, it's been a long few weeks for him. Kids are in bed and I'm on the watching by myself. It's a good one! We had Chili's, buffalo wings, chips and salsa all the good stuff. Also, there are 162 games in a baseball season...don't you just love our family?!

leafandsap said...

I am sorry I missed the Rose Bowl with you. Maybe you can have a Superbowl party and we can come ... we will commute from L.A. in our sequined tuxedo bras and glittery tights, and tip our sequined brown derbies at each other and you while we rearrange the surround sound to better highlight the sound of scraping ice. We will bring coolers full of frothy concoctions and a fannypack full of little paper umbrellas, so that they are always at hand. We will turn the air conditioning way down so it feels more authentic, or maybe just open the windows, since it's cold where you are. We will let Mr. Men have one tiny tube for football, and fill the room with every borrowed tv we can summon, tuning every one to our new favorite pastime. We will let the children wear their ice skates in the house, because it builds character when they run into each other and score the floor with their blades. We don't want to raise any pansies, you know.