Years later all things science and medicine stick in my brain. I stay home. But staying home has done something to my confidence. (A little came back while in London, it was nice.) I used to feel the need to tell people that I used to work, that I had a degree, that my husband and I worked really hard to get where we are. So this is my current situation: I have three kids who are sick, over and over and over. I am constantly at the doctor with them. I am not a mom that will rush right in at the first sniffle. I have anxieties about them sure and I do have an irrational fear about foreign object ingestion, but this year has taken the cake. This lack of confidence and just letting the medical establishment push me over is now DONE!
There is nothing tragic going on in my household, but when the pharmacist knows your name and you now have the personal cell phone number of a specialist you know that things were allowed to go on way too long. This leads me to my other annoying attribute, I want people to like me. I am laid back, but I laugh things off when I shouldn't. I have always let advantage taking relationships linger for way too long. When my pediatrician tells me repeatedly to wait it out on EVERYTHING I should have just told her "no, I have been waiting too long." I have enough medical knowledge to know which specialist to see based on certain symptoms. So that is what I have done, taken her out of the loop. We are finally getting somewhere and getting things under control. Unfortunately it is involving a whole LOT of drugs. So when I called that lovely office today to get a script sent over to yet another specialist, based on the recommendation of the first specialist I was no nonsense. I said that it HAD to be done today.
I need to get back to that young girl who believed she could do anything, lack of confidence begone. Perhaps all that knowledge from before is so I can advocate for my kids now. That I can raise the bullshit flag when needed. Who knows what I will be doing in ten years or what my kids will become. But they are certainly not going to be on drugs and sick all the time because of mismanagement of very common conditions.
My husband is a badass in the regulation area. He is my bulldog. He has no fear and waltzes in to HUGE firms talks to the big wigs and basically interrogates, gets answers, and is done. No nonsense. He prepped me this morning on this come to Jesus moment the kid's doctor and I am going to have come Monday. I used to have a bulldog attitude in my job (and have little patience for crap in my personal life) so I just needed a refresher course. Between my husband and my twenty year old self scrubbed into a surgery I think I will be ok. I can do this. I mean, these are my kids...and as any parent knows, that love for your kids is something fierce.