Friday, October 22, 2010

insert cliche here

I realized last week that I am holding all of my caca together with a very fine spindle of spider webbing, that I am at the end of my rope, reached my limit, too much on the plate...or whatever cliche you prefer. The boy is now being bribed to behave in school. An impromptu conference with his teacher last week was were I realized that perhaps I was not keeping it together very well...because I started to CRY! In public. I don't do that, ever. But I did and then blubbered. It was certainly not my finest hour and was really quite embarrassing. Either way I've been pissed at myself since. I mean who does that? I tried to come up with excusing my head as to why the boy would be acting so naughty, gifted, poor choice in friends, tired, she was picking on him...then I blamed the husband's parenting (always a go to when I can't find an answer) then I blamed my parenting. But I've come to the realization that he was being a brat and no amount of time outs and loss of screen time was going to make a difference. Nor was yelling at the kid. He's like me and doesn't respond well to that style of behavior modification. That just makes us feistier. Instead I will fall back on my college psychology classes and use "positive reinforcement" which is basically bribery. I mean who doesn't do something better when they are getting something out of it? Sure you can say you are doing things simply for the satisfaction of accomplishment but to a six year old, yeah right. So the kid gets a toy. So far he has been behaving for four days. A marked improvement over multiple timeouts at school a day. He still isn't allowed to play with the naughty kids in class though. At first I felt like I was being a snob or something, because they are all just six years old for crying out loud, but then I thought eh, screw it. Cheap toys from China seem to be doing the trick.


2 comments:

Kathleen said...

sometimes it's just all about what works. Especially to preserve your own sanity!

Anonymous said...

Nothing wrong with a little bribery. Positives can be more productive than negatives.-Melissa